How to get my child back

[AngelForAll]

Hello everyone. My first time on here so I hope i'm doing this right, here goes...

2 years ago now, I was suffering bad with my mental health. My oldest son who was 6 at the time, went to live with his father (all court arranged by mutual agreement) with me having him weekends.
My youngest (4 at the time) went to live with my mother and step father (again, court ordered and by mutual agreement) as his legal guardians and regular contact with myself.

My partner and I have our own house and my mental health has gotten a whole lot better to the point where I would be very confident to look after my children full time. I made a huge mistake giving them up, they want to live with us and we have no idea where we stand.

My mother and step father are legal guardians and have said they would not allow me to have him back so it would mean a big fight. Their house is a disgusting mess, my son is left up in his messy room on the xbox all day (for 10 hours straight alone just today). He has been wearing the same pyjamas since I dropped him back there a whole week ago and in this whole week, he has not even had a bath. He's not spoken to all day (unless my partner plays online xbox things with him). At 6 years old, they still cut up his food (he struggles using cutlery here), he doesn't know how to ride a bike, his speech is awful, presumably because no one speaks to him all day. His food is from a tin (tinned meatballs for lunch every day) and dinner is usually chicken nuggets and chips.

I dont know if any of this is neglect or if I have any rights in court to get him back with me?
If anyone could offer any insight I would be eternally grateful. I trusted these people with my son and now I can't sleep at night thinking he's not being looked after properly and I have no idea with way to go.

Thank you in advance!

Because of the distance with school and all the driving, I travel up there once a fortnight on a Friday to collect him whilst my partner picks up my eldest, bring back to us for the weekend and then do the round trip again on the Sunday to drop him back after dropping my eldest back off with his dad. And on the other fortnightly weekend it lands on, we (my partner, my eldest and myself) go up there for the weekend to cut out some of the travelling.

At the moment it’s all gone a bit wrong because of the virus etc. As it’s now the school holidays we had him for 2 weeks and got him this Friday until the day before he goes back to school. We FaceTime most days as well and when my partner gets home from work, they play Xbox online together over the headset so we all have a lot of contact luckily!

Could you not move near your parents? Family close by to support is really useful

Most of my family are where I live and my partner has a good job. My mother and step father moved years ago away from everyone way before I had the children. I have lived up there previously but I couldn’t settle at all. It’s difficult to find work where they live as well. I also have my eldest son just round the corner and when he comes back to live with us he’ll be starting secondary school with all his friends. I have toyed with the idea of moving closer but it’s not practical unfortunately

When my youngest lived with me, he was almost off stabilisers and cutting up his own food so in my point of view, he has gone backwards since he has lived with them. His confidence has completely gone.

Well yes, your DS went from living with you & his brother full time to suddenly living with his grandparents full time & only seeing you & his brother every other weekend - that’s a huge physical & emotional upheaval for a 4 year old. Your parents could be the best parents in the world & your DS still could have regressed. You also want to upturn your DS’s life again just two years later by having him come live with you full time straight away rather than gradually because of your own personal circumstances - that’s not necessarily in your DS’s best interest which is all the court will be looking at.

How long have you been with your DP? Also, how long have you been stable for if your ex is requiring you to be stable for a year before you get your other son back?

I’m glad you’re in a good place OP but I’d be careful about making statements such as your DP loving your children & being happy to parent them if you’ve only been together a short time (I’m assuming less than 2 years) & during that time you’ve only had fortnightly & school holiday access to your children. Your DP may have the best intentions but anyone who’s been in a step family situation knows it can all pear shaped at the blending / move in stage even with resident parents. I’m only mentioning this so you think about your own personal circumstances carefully because you’re in a very precarious position by opting not to work & relying on your DP’s income to support you & your two children when you’re not married. Would you be able to manage mentally, emotionally & financially as a single mother to your two children if you & your DP broke up?