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Original poster

Dummies!!!!

33 replies

WhenTwoBecomeThree · 15/08/2020 10:55

My 8 month old has a dummy, she mainly uses it just for naps and bedtime. Through the night we're getting up about 6 times a night to go and put her dummy in, then she'll go straight back to sleep and to be honest, I'm sick of it. She starts nursery in less than a month and I don't want her going to nursery and them having to fish dummies out from under the cots or us continue spending money on replacing them. We always have to make sure we have one on us when we go out and they're just a pain.

I've just tried to put her down for a nap, gave her a comforter that smells of us and she's screamed for an hour. I've given in and give her the dummy and she's gone straight off.

My partner is about as helpful as a chocolate teapot and his 'suggestion' is 'why do we need to get rid of it?' Whilst he sits on his backside and hasn't bothered to help me settle her without the dummy.

So i'm coming to you lovely MNers to see what your suggestions are. I just don't want her having it anymore and I wish we'd got rid of it sooner!

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Original poster

WhenTwoBecomeThree · 15/08/2020 10:55

Sorry, the app has taken my paragraphs out!

OP posts:

atvh · 15/08/2020 11:01

It sounds like it’s time to go cold turkey OP! I’ve seen posters on MN suggest that cutting a hole in the teat of the dummy can work - could you maybe try that? You’ll be in for a rough couple of days but it’ll be worth it in the long run. NHS advice is to wean babies off dummies between 6 months and a year, so your DD is the right age.

OliviaPopeRules · 15/08/2020 11:02

You just let your 8 month the old scream for an hour instead of giving her a dummy, are you serious?
When she wakes up 6 times in the night what do you think is going to get her back to sleep when you have no dummy.
I agree with your husband there is no reason uk get rid of it unless you just want to make your life harder for no reason.

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BigusBumus · 15/08/2020 11:06

I'd go cold turkey. If she cries she cries. But dont suddenly give in and give her it or you're putting her through it for no reason. Won't take long for her to forget.

Original poster

WhenTwoBecomeThree · 15/08/2020 11:07

Thank you @atvh for the advice, I'll give it a try! I'd rather get rid if it sooner rather than later

@OliviaPopeRules thanks for the 'advice'. No, I didn't just leave her to scream for an hour, I obviously went in and out and tried to settle her using different methods other than a dummy

OP posts:

Original poster

WhenTwoBecomeThree · 15/08/2020 11:09

@BigusBimus I think that's my only option, she's not bothered about the comforter at all

OP posts:

lookatmyclevername · 15/08/2020 11:10

My SIL bought me one of these when my baby was born, absolute sleep saver!

www.sleepytot.co.uk

Original poster

WhenTwoBecomeThree · 15/08/2020 11:14

@lookatmyclevername thanks, how does it work and how old is your LO now? She fidgets so much and ends up at the opposite side of the cot not long after she's even gone to sleep so I don't know if we'd still have the same problem if she was having to move around to get to it

OP posts:

surreygirl1987 · 15/08/2020 11:39

I was a parent who hated dummies... but ended up giving my son one. Said I'd get rid of it at 3 months. The 6 months. Then a year. Then over lockdown. Now he's almost 2 and still has it... he has a little brother now and I'm putting way less pressure in us this time. If he wants a dummy, fine. I asked a paediatric and a dentist and they said if it's not in all the time, and just for sleep, no need to worry. They learn to replace it again for themselves in due course. We'll get rid of the dummies at some point (dummy fairy? Santa?) but if it make a life easier I'm in no rush!

lookatmyclevername · 15/08/2020 11:53

[quote WhenTwoBecomeThree]@lookatmyclevername thanks, how does it work and how old is your LO now? She fidgets so much and ends up at the opposite side of the cot not long after she's even gone to sleep so I don't know if we'd still have the same problem if she was having to move around to get to it [/quote]
My LO is now one but we have been using this since we moved her into her own room at six months.
We were doubtful at first but watched her on the monitor one evening, she was able to find it in the dark no problem herself at an early stage, she could put the dummy in herself and give it a little cuddle and settle herself back to sleep.
We bought two more that night for back ups!

Wearywithteens · 15/08/2020 12:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Illegitiminoncarborundum · 15/08/2020 12:21

We went cold turkey.
3 days of tears and hell but it was worth it.
Best decision ever.

Somethingvague · 15/08/2020 12:26

I took it away at around 8 months when they were waking up every hour at night just to have it put back in. I tried teaching him to put it back in himself but he couldn't and I needed sleep too. We did controlled crying and it worked quite easily - going in after 1 minute, then 2 minutes etc. I don't think we ever got past 7 before he went to sleep, although you have to make sure they are just at the right tired stage. The idea of it was worse than the reality. In a few days the dummy was forgotten - no regrets.

Theforest · 15/08/2020 12:31

The cords which clip onto their clothes are a godsend when they are little. They can then start to find it themselves easily if they need it.

At 8 months, it is still a comfort to them, so I wouldnt worry about stopping yet. Just keep for sleep.

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 15/08/2020 12:35

If you're 100% sure you want to get rid of them then you need to stick to it. It's the false stop starts that are confusing and upsetting for little ones.

Prepare yourself for some shitty nights, crying and comforting so you can stick to it and not give in.

haba · 15/08/2020 12:40

I have one that never had a dummy and one that I had to prise his dummy from him when he was 3! Honestly- they both speak well and have straight teeth. Some babies just need to suck more than others and it comforts them. Your dd is so small still- this soothes her, go with it.
My dummy user is still a very sucky/lucky child! It's obviously an innate need in him
He still sucks his phantom dummy in his sleep on occasion (he's 11!!)

haba · 15/08/2020 12:41

"licky" not lucky, sorry.

Lotsofpots · 15/08/2020 12:45

We were advised to do anything we needed at bedtime to get DS2 to sleep without his dummy - rocking, cuddling, whatever. Then during the night let him have it. That got him used to going to sleep without it, and by night four he was refusing it when he woke in the night, and dummies were redundant. He was 8 months and while he didn't then start sleeping through, he was no longer waking for his dummy.

kshaw · 15/08/2020 12:48

We had dummy strings. Not set long enough to go around her neck or anything but she soon learned to find it herself. We didn't get rid of it til she was about 2.5. She understood that the dummy fairy tales them away and she got a present. Cried for about an hour asking for it and that was it.

Bluntness100 · 15/08/2020 12:53

I’d also find a solution to help her find it herself and teach her to do so.

Mine had hers till about two, she would only use the same one. I tried others but she wouldn’t touch them. One day it disintegrated and that was that.

Original poster

WhenTwoBecomeThree · 15/08/2020 12:54

Thank you everyone, will take it on board!

@Somethingvague that's the issue we have, she wakes up for her dummy and that's it. It could be right infront of her and she won't bother to put it back in herself, she knows how to but she won't and we're exhausted

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haba · 15/08/2020 12:56

We had glow in the dark dummies for nighttime, think they still do them (Mam).
I always put two in his cot, too, which helped the "way, it's fallen through the bars" problem.

difficulttod · 15/08/2020 12:56

From what I've read, after 12 months they start to form an emotional attachment to a dummy, so that's the best time to introduce a lovey to replace it. So I got rid of them just as mine turned one. We waited until they both had a cold and were bunged up so couldn't use it anyway and were already miserable! Only took a couple of nights of patting them off to sleep and they forgot about it.

Original poster

WhenTwoBecomeThree · 15/08/2020 13:13

@haba we have the Mam glow in the dark ones, I'd also tried scattering a few around her cot but she still won't bother to put them in herself

OP posts:

FATEdestiny · 15/08/2020 14:53

Sleepytot's are great for helping baby learn to manage own dummy. I see someone linked to them earlier.

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