Books/advice on sibling rivalry

[help1help]

Any recommendations? For a baby and DC5. Elder is just horrid to the baby so often and I feel like I've tried everything.

Try the Aha Parenting website. If you like her (research-led but very "American"" style), she has two books. The second os called "Calm Parents, Happy Siblings".

Hang on, I'll find links.....

Here is the sibling section from the website:

www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/helping-siblings-get-along

The second book:

www.amazon.co.uk/Calm-Parents-Happy-Siblings-fighting/dp/1785040251?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

What sort of things does the five year old do? Is it premeditated or spur of the moment?

I’m guessing you’re giving them attention on their own, as well as dad spending one-to-one time with them. It’s hard to go from being the centre of attention to sharing it, but I’m sure you’re very aware of that.

Emphasise that when he/she feels like being horrid a better thing to would be to come to you or dad and say that’s how they feel, like they want to do something. Explain that when they were a baby you did everything you could to keep them safe and you need to do the same for their sibling.

Give them an outlet for cross and angry feelings, we all have them and it’s a useful thing to know how to deal with them. Be clear you don’t like it when they hurt or upset the baby, but you want to help them deal with the feelings that cause that behaviour.

Thank you Littlecabbage. I will have a read of that.

Fanthorpe I think it's mainly spur of the moment. She will hit her or push her over. Take away whatever little toy she is playing with and shout in her face. Then there is the rough 'playing' where it was an 'accident' that she jumped on her, dragged her along too hard, but somehow every few minutes the baby's crying.

I understand completely it's all jealousy and for attention. I was the same; I was a big sister too. I completely empathise with her and have tried talking things through with her. DH works away a lot so it's often just me. Realistically a baby does need a lot of attention but I do my best to have special time once she's in bed or having a nap.