No pattern in 3 month old’s behaviour

[Atticus500]

Just this really - I’ve been told there should be a pattern/routine to my child’s behaviour at 12 weeks (she’ll be 12 weeks on Friday) and yet there’s nothing. Her night sleeping is fairly regular, but daytime is all over the place. She breastfeeds all day long with no real breaks between sessions, she doesn’t have any pattern to her naps and tends to avoid them at all costs, and whilst her nightly 6pm meltdown is fairly consistent, I find I don’t have any time to do the things inshould be doing (things like tummy time and reading which I never do and worry will affect her development). When will she develop some kind of pattern and space out feeds and take naps?!

She may not be spacing out feeds at the moment because it is so bloody hot!

My 9 month old has been feeding like a newborn this week.

3 months is still very little. My LO was on a feed, play, sleep routine at that age with no real timings other than max 90 min to 2 hour awake time.

I reccomend downloading the free huckleberry app which tells you when it is time for another sleep. At that age they key for me was avoiding overtiredness even if LO had to sleep on me or in his pram rather than in a moses basket.

There is also a growth spurt at that age so if you are breastfeeding it can feel like it is non stop. 6 months was when I felt everything got a lot easier and there was more of a routine.

Hi! Im someone that was desperate for a set routine and wandered why my DS didnt have one at that age. I think I tried to impose one, which just resulted in an unhappy baby.

One things ive learnt is that a set/rigid routine/schedule at that age is pointless as they're always changing so much. Their awake windows stretch all the time, which makes daytime naps at a specific time a bit unachievable. My 20 week old has no daytime routine when it comes to naps. The only thing I aim for is a bedtime window of around 5.30-6ish, so no naps after 4.30ish (when i'll start a bedtime routine, he'll usually be down by 6.30/7ish).

I don't know who's telling you that a 12 week old should be in a routine - they clearly didn't have my baby! We had no discernible daytime routine until at least 6 months. We had a bedtime routine from about 3 or 4 months but it wasn't at 7pm until closer to 5 months.

Worrying about things you should be doing is the route to madness (I know!). Be kind to yourself and do what works for you and your baby.

12 weeks is still very little. For me DD1 has no routine then but DD2 did seem to but in reality she was forced into a routine as we at to get up at 7 to get her older sister to school nursery and then she fell asleep in the sling on the fleas back. I used to have to wake her by 10.30 to start feeding changing again to leave the house at 11.30 for nursery pick up and again she would fall asleep in the sling. We have family bath time at the same time but other than that everything else was all over the place.

Do you log her naps etc on an app? I've found that really helpful; it enables me to see patterns in my baby's day that I might not otherwise have recognised. He still doesn't sleep at set times, but I find I can predict what he's going to do when much better.