Parenting a toddler 101!! Any recommended resources?

[WoolyMammoth55]

Hi all,

So my DS turned 3 in May and lockdown parenting has been an eye-opener! He used to be in nursery 5 mornings a week and DH and I split the afternoons depending on who had the most pressing deadline (both WFH freelancers).

Being locked down all together 24/7 (with our work lives at a standstill!) means we've all been in each other's faces and toddler has developed some boundary-testing habits - has basically learned that "NO" is an option for him as well as us!

I'm not hugely worried by his behaviour but what I am really aware of is how differently DH and I parent, and how little thought and discussion we'd put into this back when he was a happy and obedient 2 year old (sob!) I really feel like we need some tools, some guidance and some consensus in how we're approaching the whole disciplining thing in particular and parenting in general.

Does anyone have any good basic resources to recommend? How do you guys bridge differences between parents who were parented differently and so have different "blue-prints"? I think that is a big part of our challenge.

Really grateful for any thoughts and ideas - thanks!

I think you are just going to have to sit down and decide between you.

Husband and I are different, yes. I'm a soft touch with DS when it comes to cuddles and night time but actually much more likely to be consistent with e.g. not responding to a 'request' without please etc

We only use a time out type situation when he's very deliberately hurt a parent or a dog or is refusing to acknowledge

Otherwise pretty child led. Much of it is up to me as the SAHM. Try to give choices where appropriate and allow some things so that he knows if it's a solid NO, it's real. Countdown to do/ stop doing works for him and me but not for DH so much. Maybe as I follow through

But he is also back at nursery 2 days a week. Sounds like that is something to consider as well

'The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read' by Philippa Perry. I got my husband to read it and luckily we're both on the same page. It must be difficult when two parents have different approaches. I think having an honest talk together about expectations is probably a good idea - consistency is key with young children imo.

Thanks both! Really good advice. I think the book is a great idea @Ihaveoflate and have bought that for sharing with DH. We did try chatting but it was a bit unfocused and turned slightly grumpy due to heat/ tiredness/ lockdown... I'm sure having the book as a talking point will be really useful!

Any other books/ resources that have helped others? I'm open to all suggestions :)