Best age to relocate our DS?

[atvh]

DH and I live in the city (London) but are considering relocating to the countryside to get more space and a different pace of life for DS.

The plan is to look after him at home (with me as a SAHM) before putting him into nursery from the age of three.

When is the best time to relocate to give the least disruption possible to DS in terms of his friendships? Would it be before nursery, before primary school or before secondary? I’m assuming halfway through primary is a no no.

Does anyone have any advice?

We've moved twice. The first time our oldest was 8 and youngest 4 and the older had to change schools. She had a tricky year but was then fine.

The younger was barely affected. She continued in the same preschool. The second move was a big one and we emigrated to Australia. We moved when the older was 11...just finished primary school and the younger 7 ....about to move into juniors.

That was fine for all of us. The older was ready for change...the younger was excited and happy.

In all honesty, it depends on the child. I know some of DDs friends at primary would not have liked to move away when all their friends were about to attend the same secondary....they were looking forward to it together. But DD was fine...she wanted to move to Oz.

If I possibly could, I would try to make the move sooner rather than later. As soon as possible but at least under 7. They're still so little under 7 that they just alter so fast and a move doesn't affect them as much,

Before primary.

We moved every couple of years. You can move whenever as long as you prep properly.

We've moved four times - as early as possible. As the kids have gotten older their friends mean more to them and it's gotten harder. If you have the option to do it before nursery, do it then!

If you move prior to reception place applications then you are more likely to have local school choice - this would apply to both state and independent but state in particular. DD moves when she was two and three and neither effected her.

I was moved from south to north as a child when I was 8 (nearly 9) and it had a huge impact on both me and my sister. We were both bullied for accents and never really got accepted into friendship groups in the village, where other children had grown up together. My parents also dealt with it badly and underestimated the effect the move would have.

As a result of my experience, I would never move my child once they had started primary school, but I accept that this is a complete projection of my own anxieties and that such an impact is not inevitable.

If any time is as good as any other, I would move before primary. Up until then, a move won't even register, especially if you'll be a SAHM and won't be changing nurseries. I think even in primary, they'll adjust and it will be no big deal (we'll be moving this year - I hope, lockdown scuppered our first attempt to move - and my eldest is in Y3), but it's more just the admin hassle of dealing with getting a school place.

Move when it's right for you, kids are adaptable. Many children including mine have had to move multiple times for work reasons, they turned out fine. Just choose where you live wisely, I did the move to the country thing and hated it, it felt so claustrophobic bizarrely because there was such a small friendship pool and everyone knew everyone's business. I like the town I live in now, far better than a village

We moved out of London when first son was two, as we had to be living in the catchment of our chosen school (state) to apply for a nursery place (attended mornings for year prior to reception).