4.5 year old soiling self

[Chris2315]

Hi :) i have a 4 year old son (turning 5 in October) who's had some developmental problems growing up, mainly with speech - this time last year his vocabulary consisted of one or two words. The doctors were concerned he may be autistic, but since the start of the year he has blossomed completely, his speech is brilliant now and not that far from his peers.

Anyway, a year ago and a half ago, when his speech was nearly non existent, our health said not to worry about potty training him yet but we did at it was a great decision as he was amazing! Had very little accidents, but he did sometimes struggle to make it for a poo on time. This seemed to settle for a bit and he started knowing when to go more.

But over the last few months, he is having dirty pants most days, some days up to 3 times a day! It seems that by the time he tells us he needs a poo, it’s already all in his pants. Also it sometimes seems that he’ll seem to know he’s got dirty pants but not care.

Today was one of the worst. Up until about 4pm he didn’t need to go, he shouted to us that needed to go and as usual, his pants were soiled. He then sat on the toilet but didn’t actually go anymore, so I wiped and that was it. About 2 hours later i bath him and notice his pants are full of poo, again :( he says he needs to go, so i sit him on the toilet but again doesn't actually go. Then an hour later, he says he needs to go again, and of course his pants are full of poo yet again 😑 He’s been like this for months and I’m constantly washing pants, to the point where sometimes he ends up having none left! His poo in his pants is always really soft and never a full stool, not sure if that means anything or not.

Just wondering if anyone has had a child with this problem, and if anyone has any tips? Should I contact my GP?

Go to the GP, he might be constipated or have encoporesis

Yes go to the GP so they can check whether he has chronic constipation.

He might be impacted and what you’re seeing is “overflow” that’s making its way around the blockage.

Thanks all, I spoke to our GP and she reckons it's probably endoporesis/'hidden constipation' too so he's now taking a mild laxative. Fingers crossed :)

I have no advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone in going through this.

My daughter will be 5 in December and has started having lots of accidents. Just like you say it's never a full load just a bit.
Its soul destroying dealing with dirty pants all the time. I've tried mild laxatives and didn't have any improvement. The GP told me that she's still young and will grow out of it. Hopefully she was right.
I'm dreading her starting school.

@Lottieskeeper I think you should try another doctor. If mild laxatives don't work there's next steps (stronger laxatives, different laxatives, enema or surgery to remove the mass from the colon)

The mild laxatives worked in that she was able to do a 'full load' unfortunately they didn't help her get it in the toilet.

Currently I'm thinking it's her way of acting out her anxieties over a stressful time; lockdown, not going to preschool or seeing any friends, suddenly going back to preschool but everything being different and then the big starting school coming up.

So laxatives started Wednesday morning and now, on Sunday evening, it's been worse than ever 😟 does it tend to get worse before it gets better or am I being hopelessly optimistic? Doctor said I need to give it a week or so but seeing it get worse is disheartening.

@Lottieskeeper hope you get answers for your daughter too, it really is crushing to being cleaning poo off pants all day isn't it!

Hi, we've been through this recently too. We found the ERIC (Children's bowel and bladder charity) website helpful. www.eric.org.uk/guide-to-childrens-bowel-problems

I think the trick is to try and remain relaxed about it, keep on with the laxatives, introduce as much fibre as possible in to their diet (Aldi do a great little chocolate brownie bar called Fibre Now if they are fussy eaters), we also did things like making the toilet a fun place to be with books and posters etc.

It is disheartening but you are not alone. Hopefully things will improve for you both soon.

Almost exactly the same situation here, age, speech etc. He tends to be a little better from time to time and can actually wipe his bottom on a good day, but now we are on holiday and we are all at sea and I am throwing away the worst pants. Reception will be a right laugh.

I am mostly over fretting about it and try not to think too much, just deal with it and move on.

I have Marvelous news! DD says she has grown up and hasn't had an accident for almost a week. Not sure how long it will last but at least I can catch up washing the rest of the families clothes while she's only needed 1 pair of pants and trousers a day.

How are the laxatives doing OP?