How to get over failing to breastfeed

[Stacey19912]

Hi,

I really need some advice as my DD is 3 now and very healthy, I am now 38 weeks with our second baby and and still full of guilt for only breastfeeding my first for a short period of time (whilst I was in hosp) I was really concerned she wasn't getting enough milk. I feel so guilty even now and like I have failed her.

Please can somebody help me get past this as it's ruining my happiness x

Was it beneficial to my DD that she got the colostrum? I believe that is the most beneficial part?

One thing that helped me second time round was to know where I would go if it all fell apart again. So I turned up at my local NCT cafe at 39 weeks, and had a chat (well, cry, but who's counting) with the lovely lactation consultant there.

Groups aren't running in person, but do you have a local la Leche league Facebook group or something like that?

@Stacey19912 it will have been of great benefit to have colostrum - every single feed you gave DC1 will have been of benefit.

It's really hard when your feeding experience hasn't been what you hoped.

Echo what others have said - look up local NCT cafés/bumps and babies sessions, see if your area has any breastfeeding cafés (just google 'breastfeeding support' and the name of your council) and maybe even ask your friends if any of them have breastfed because as a new mum the peer support is invaluable too.

I almost gave up breastfeeding on day 3 because it was absolute agony. It felt like razors on my nipples. I was fortunate to be able to pay for an excellent lactation consultant who came and checked everything, but it was also invaluable to text my friends who confirmed that yes, the first couple of weeks can feel incredibly painful until your nipples toughen up, and yes, it's totally normal to be feeding constantly all day long for the first few weeks.

You’ve been lied to about the efficacy of breastfeeding. Straight up lies and misinformation about the benefits. They exist, but they’re not as substantial as you’ve been led to believe and your son statistically probably wouldn’t have had any lasting benefit anyway.

Listen to Professor Joan B Wolf on YouTube or read her book. It’s a good starting point.