PLEASE HELP 12 week old unsettled since day 1, silent reflux or cma?

[LaceyLou42]

I know my baby is in pain but I just don’t know why. Symptoms: squirming and straining during bottle, straightening out after bottle and crying, wet burps, crying most of the time he’s awake, never stops himself when he’s full (I’ve tried feeding him more/less/smaller amounts more frequently), grunts and strains for hours when he wakes up on a morning and lets out VERY loud farts, doesn’t sleep much during the day but sleeps most nights from 10pm-7am, brings up clear liquid between feeds which sometimes smells acidy, only poos once every 4 days and has had constipation previously (had bouts of it before starting comfort milk).

Things tried: infacol, gripe water, gaviscon, lactulose, and has been on comfort milk since 8 weeks. Nothing has helped his unsettledness. I’ve done all the practical things: bouncy chair, swing, sling, cycling legs, tummy massage, baths, taking him out, you name it I’ve tried it.

The only thing that sort of helps is putting him on his tummy with white noise on.

The GP has now prescribed omeprazole to try but I have to wait for it to be ordered in. If this fails then the next thing to try is hypoallergenic milk apparently. His skin is fine except for some cradle cap. He DID have a face rash between ages of 2-4 weeks which also was on his chest but I put that down to baby acne and he hasn’t had it since. His weight gain is fine.

I really hoped at 12 weeks he would settle down but he hasn’t what so ever. In fact yesterday was his worst day yet. It’s exhausting.

Hi. I’d personally come off the comfort milk ASAP as it gives them terrible foul wind from my experience and was not comforting at all! We found aptimil and gaviscon With both reflux babies worked well. Keep him upright for honestly at least 20 mins after feeding, and burp him really well.

If he likes tummy time with white noise do it as often as he likes?

Doesn’t sound like CMA but I could be totally wrong.

Good luck xx

This sounds a lot like my LO who is 14w now. Honestly I feel for you and your LO cos it's so hard to deal with! We were prescribed CMPA milk which was horrendous as he didn't like the taste (it was so watery) so would refuse feeds. And whatever he did take, he would spew right out. So we took him off it and have gone to goats milk which he's doing better with. We were also prescribed omeprazole which we tried for a month and it made no difference so we took him off that too. I didn't want to unnecessarily medicate him when there was no improvement.

Have you tried a cranial osteopath? I've got LO booked to see one and hoping it makes an improvement as I've heard good things! But honestly I really think it's just time. As hard as that can be to accept when they're in such discomfort :( I hope things improve for you soon!

Oh and the cranial osteopath mentioned that the best possible thing for reflux babies is actually lots of tummy time! Which you're already doing so that's fab. Mine screams when we try it lol

Have you tried Colic Calm? Our cranial ostepath suggested it and honestly that stuff is made of magic. My DS goes from full on screaming to calm in two or three minutes. We tried it as a last ditch attempt before omeprazole.
Be warned though, it makes their poo an alarming colour.

@Gettingonabitnow I’ll speak to my HV to see what she thinks about coming off comfort milk. Just a bit scared to as if his constipation returns that’s yet another issue to deal with!

@greenemerald sorry to hear you’ve had similar issues with your LO. Family keep telling me “you can’t complain if he sleeps through the night!!” Believe me I can! Although I know it could be worse. Fingers crossed the cranial osteopath works, I have heard of it but I need to look into it properly.

@squee123 I haven’t tried that but I have tried Woodward’s gripe water but he was coughing and choking with it even on half a dose which put me off a bit! The small amount I did get into him didn’t make any difference but he probably didn’t have enough really.

my lo hates gripe water but loves the taste of Colic Calm so it is easy to get into him. I just syringe it in very slowly

I could literally have written your post about my nearly 14 week old. Cried continuously almost from birth but slept so well at night. Also struggled with bowel movements, was constantly unsettled and squirmy and seemed always in pain. Was very grunty especially at night. Couldn’t be put down during day and sleep in day time was non existent. He had lots of hiccups, wasn’t comfortable feeding and seemed constantly distressed when feeding. We tried omeprazole and hypoallergenic milk. We saw a slight improvement. We then decided to re introduce his normal formula and he reacted absolutely fine. We also stopped omeprazole and managed his reflux By feeding little and often and also keeping upright after feeds. It seemed that it was simply time that helped him become more settled. He still has his moments but overall Is a completely different baby in the last couple of weeks to those first 2/3 months. I’m sure you’ve read about it, and I was very sceptical, but it seems the 4th trimester was a very real thing for my wee one. Get support from family and health professionals and try what is offered. It’s so tough and I was at breaking point. But it will improve 💕

How much milk is he having per feed and over 24h?

@FATEdestiny he is having between 30-35oz per day, usually has about 5oz per bottle with the occasional 6oz, but as I said he doesn’t stop himself so I never know when he’s full and similarly I never know when he’s hungry (he cries all the time anyway so hard to differentiate his cries) but he loves his milk! I’ve tried giving him bigger feeds and he tends to be sick, tried giving him less then he’s even fussier than normal, so I make it up as I go along really.

@Firsttimemummy204 that’s so reassuring thank you for telling me your story! I have heard people saying it’ll get better with time, I just can’t he’ll but feel he’s getting worse but I’ll try to keep optimistic!! Sorry you had to go through this as well, it’s so hard! Nobody understands unless they’ve been through it themselves. I hate “trial and error” cos I feel like I could be treating the wrong thing, but they can’t tell us what’s wrongs so needs must I guess. I’ll hang on in there! Xx

@LaceyLou42 if one more person said to me just give it time I would have screamed! But it was so true for us. Until you have a baby like you describe no one can understand how hard it is. I cried almost daily and felt such sadness that I was missing out on all the newborn loveliness that others seemed to have!!! But the smiles and longer periods of calm have started to come through! I’ll have everything crossed it’s your wee one soon!

It's possible he is simply both hungary and tired.

Hunger is a distinct possibility, especially given he has no night feeds. How big are the bottles you make up? What do you mean by "I never know when he’s full", you should always feed until baby stops themself. If bottle is drained, make bigger bottles.

As for "he cries all the time anyway so hard to differentiate his cries" this could be tired. Mostly a newborn baby who isn't feeding, is sleeping. You'll be coming out of that mostly asleep phase now at 12 weeks, but if you have established sleep deprivation in baby it could explain the constant crying. How much is baby sleeping through the day?

@FATEdestiny I think if I have him a 20oz bottle he would drink the lot, honestly, he’s always drained bottles & I remember weeks ago telling the HV how much I was feeding him and should I give him more and she said I’m already feeding him a lot, when I did try and give him an ounce more he had the lot and brought a lot of it back up. I’ve been constantly told to feed him smaller amounts even by the GP who has said I sound like I give him too much and he’s either “greedy” or is “drinking because it’s soothing his throat because that’s what some reflux babies do”. It’s hard because I understand what you’re saying, but at the same time I’m scared to give him more because overfeeding can cause problems in itself like tummy ache, bloating and reflux. However I am now tempted to try him with a 7oz bottle out of curiosity.

He’s awake A LOT. The most I’ve ever known him sleep in one day is 3 hours. Today he’s probably had 2. How much should he sleep during the day?

Should I put him back on regular milk?

He seems so upset when he passes wind, straightening out etc, it can go on for hours

@Firsttimemummy204 I’m so pleased time has done the job for you! It’s awful to wish time away, but I’ve had 12 weeks of this now :( I definitely cry most days. Thank you!

Your baby sounds EXACTLY like my eldest. He had reflux. I suspect now he had CMPA but it was never picked up on. It was only after he developed asthma and the specialist asked about his medical history at 3YO, they said it sounded a lot like CMPA as a baby.

What worked for us was firstly getting a dummy. The dummy was an absolute life saver. Helped with the endless crying. And I mean endless crying all day.

We used reflux milk with colief in it. Reflux milk is thicker and I will be honest with you I have absolutely no idea what colief actually does, but DS was better with it in his milk than without.

DS was finally given ranitadine around 4 months which made a huge difference. We also weaned him at 4 months as he had begun to refuse milk feeds. Ranitadine isn't prescribed now. Gripe water is an antacid and I found that helped sometimes before a feed. Use a calpol syringe to squirt it into their cheek, it makes it harder for them to spit out.

Keeping him as upright as possible as often as possible. He absolutely hated being laid flat. I used the car seat on the pram to sit him up and had his cot mattress on an angle as well. I held him for naps in the day or took him for a walk in the car seat. He hardly ever napped in the day.

My eldest was a really hard work baby and it wasn't really until I went back to work at six months that I enjoyed him! Which is sad looking back now.

@Fatted thank you for response! Sorry to hear you had a hard time with yours. We gave him a dummy at a week old, he’s not very good at keeping it in but it has helped slightly. My family keep telling me it’s wind. I just keep going round in circles trying to figure out what it is.
I think colief helps make the lactose in milk easier to digest or something along them lines. The comfort milk should be doing that job. But I’ve never tried reflux milk because when we tried gaviscon it made zero difference (except making his constipation at the time worse) so I figured that Reflux milk will likely do the same.
One thing that makes me question silent reflux is the fact he loves been put down on his back for a nappy change. But that might be because he just loves the attention.

Has baby been checked for a tongue tie? Genuinely one of the main things that causes issues with babies tummies

@WhyWontTheyLeave not as far as I’m aware, is it one of the checks they have done at the hospital after they’ve been born? Nobody has ever mentioned anything. I’ll ask my HV about it when I see her on Monday.

Babies are not "greedy" and it's very harmful for you to think in that way.

It would be in the window of normal to have eight 6/7oz bottles a day. More if needed.

Do not limit how much milk you 12 week old has.

@FATEdestiny

Babies are not "greedy" and it's very harmful for you to think in that way.

It would be in the window of normal to have eight 6/7oz bottles a day. More if needed.

Do not limit how much milk you 12 week old has.

This isn't correct - at 12 weeks (3 months) baby should be having 5-6 feeds of 4-6oz a day. 35oz for a baby this young is at the top end of the range, and as OP's GP said it is really common for reflux babies to overeat, as the milk going down is super soothing to their poor little throats, but it just irritates their stomachs further and causes more vomiting and distress. If OP has been advised by medical professionals to limit how much milk her child has, then i think that's the advice she should be following.

[quote LaceyLou42]@WhyWontTheyLeave not as far as I’m aware, is it one of the checks they have done at the hospital after they’ve been born? Nobody has ever mentioned anything. I’ll ask my HV about it when I see her on Monday.[/quote]
No, and not every hcp has training to spot and diagnose a tongue tie. Google it, have a look in babies mouth. If they can't form a complete seal on the nipple or tear they take in a lot of air.

There's a window of normal Bitchinkitchen high centile babies generally have far more than low centile.

Also very usual for young babies sleeping through the night to counter no calories over night by 2 hourly during the day - which is often 7 or 8 feeds. I have lots of experience if this happening. Quite normal and usual for those 7/8 feeds to be 5oz or 6oz bottles per feed. Less usual but not rare or unique to have 7/8oz bottles (with 6/7oz drank)

It's far more dangerous advice to limit a 3 month olds milk.

@FATEdestiny

There's a window of normal Bitchinkitchen high centile babies generally have far more than low centile.

Also very usual for young babies sleeping through the night to counter no calories over night by 2 hourly during the day - which is often 7 or 8 feeds. I have lots of experience if this happening. Quite normal and usual for those 7/8 feeds to be 5oz or 6oz bottles per feed. Less usual but not rare or unique to have 7/8oz bottles (with 6/7oz drank)

It's far more dangerous advice to limit a 3 month olds milk.

It's very common advice for reflux babies - i was given it myself. They take much more than they need for the reasons outlined above, and it makes things worse. What OP's describing, a complete lack of regulation plus huge quantities of vomit straight after, is a classic reflux symptom. Feeding the baby less can provide relief. As her GP and HV have told her. Unless you have a medical degree and a specialism in this area i think you should probably leave their advice as it stands.

LaceyLou42 I recall your other threads and have just looked back. I see you've been limiting your baby's milk right from being tiny. I see even at 3 weeks old you were saying that you were limiting baby to 3.5oz every 4h.

You must break this mentality. It's not good for your baby.

You should always give baby a bottle with more milk in it than baby will drink.