WFH with a 9 month old

[Fressia123]

At the moment I'm working 38.5 hrs around all 7 days of the week. I'm also looking after our 9 month old. He's is not in nursery for several reasons (one being cost, it would be more cost efficient and better all-round for me to drop hours if really needed).

Over the past few weeks I've seen that it's reasonable to do 6 hours a day but I certainly need a rest day as the one week I didn't do it I felt completely overwhelmed.

It doesn't help that we go to bed fairly early (around 10) so I try not to work in the evenings as it eats away our time together.

I manage about 6 hours starting just before 8 and finishing around 6. Which isn't that bad but of the baby has a bad day, need to go the shop or something unplanned happens it wrecks the "balance" for the rest of the week.

I found it really hard working at home with 9 month old. Had to work at nights when she was asleep.

Are you employed or self employed?
Assuming you’re employed, as an employer I’d be pissed off if you were looking after a 9 month old in working hours.
When nurseries were shut it was unavoidable, but you’re choosing this for financial reasons. I think you need to be child free when WFH (other than the lockdown situation which most employers were very good about).

I'm employed, but my boss (company owner) knows about it. So no surprises there. It was always the plan that I was going to WFH albeit for 15-20hrs. He asked to go FT I said no problem, but will have to be spread throuy the week.

Absolutely honestly - before Covid - no one would have attempted to do this. For lockdown - of course - many of us did work full time around kids but it is short term ish really and not good for parents or kids. You really need to pay for childcare - especially as they start to drop naps

I will once I start my MSc. In the mean time I'm trying my best to work around it because nursery eats most of my salary.and I was not supposed to go FT until the baby was 12 months. It was only at his request that I accepted.

I'm not sure, what the question is, but that doesn't sound particularly good long term arrangement. It's not sustainable for you, nor is it fair on your baby or your employer.

Well the question omis for people who've managed it, how have they done it? My emply isn't affected in the slightest. My workload is very quantifiable and I surpass the minimum by at least 20% (they also check on quality). The baby (for now) sleeps enough.

Would his assumption not normally be that you had childcare set up for the hours you always intended to work (approx 2 full working days or 3 part time?) and it is the extra 2/3 days that you may struggle finding cover for and the employer is kindly allowing you to do with the baby there until you get something sorted? Otherwise you should have turned him down and explained it wasn’t possible as you had no childcare for those additional hours.

DD2 is 8mo and I had to work 2 days a week with baby during lockdown, but even though i still work from home, i had to return to child care arrangements asap when they became available again as i really wasn’t getting much done (and my employer was very patient during lockdown), and it wasn’t fair on dd who had to entertain herself whilst i concentrated on spreadsheets.

I have a nearly 9 month old and wouldn't do it. It's not fair on either of you.

Also, my employer wouldn't be happy about me working whilst caring for an infant. I have a five year old too and he could probably be occupied with things for a period of time, but a baby? No way. Mine is crawling and into the 'pulling everything off shelves and trying to electrocute herself' phase, so you needs eyes on her all the time. You can't realistically keep working while your baby learns to walk and climb and you can't give them your attention.

I'm in maternity leave but when I go back to work I will be WFH and all my children will got to school/nursery. It's the only way.

My job is very simple (some things aren't as such) but the bulk park is. The original arrangement was that if work while he sleeps or when his dad is around (while still giving me some freedom).

My productiy is substantially higher than in the office so, so far so good. The baby is fine. He does sleep quite a bit atill, I get to walk the dog, etc.. but I feel like I'm.working ALL the time.

At least 90% of my colleagues are stoners (it comes with the business) and at work my boss has always said that as long as things get done he doesn't care how long or how we do it.

So it's not so much about the baby as it is about me not having any spare time.

It doesn't sound ideal OP. A 9 month old will have 1-2 naps a day and an early bedtime, so possible to fit a fair bit of work in during those times.

Though means you (and your dp) have to fit in cooking, cleaning etc whilst the DC is awake.

But as the DC gets older, they will drop a nap and you will end up having to spend more time working whilst they are awake.

Do-able short term whilst childcare wasn't an option, but long-term likely to result in either burn out for you, or leaving your DC plonked in front of the TV for longer than ideal or both. So good childcare may well be better for you both. But yes, that costs unless you have relatives willing and able to provide.

How long do you intend this for?

Would tax credits cover some of the costs of professional childcare?

No, we only get covered about 20% . We still have to fork out £900 and my salary is £1200 .

It's only two months though. In October I'll start my MSc and he'll go to childcare, maybe still not FT but definitely PT

I’ve done it. I would count on working 2.5-3 hours during the day (nap time, tv time, snatched time during meals and so on) then 2-3 hours in the evening, which would get me up to 30 or so hours over the week. I’d do whatever remained by getting up very early one or two days a week (eg go to bed at 9pm, get up at 2am and work through until 8am or whenever the kids woke up for the day) I found it better like that even though there were multiple night wakings and I’d often be doing it with a child on my knee - it was night so there was no mandate to entertain the children and boring-working-shushing Mommy was not worth waking up for. I was lucky in that I didn’t need to be on the phone so didn’t make any noise, so it worked for me.

I wouldn’t have days off every week but I would occasionally stack up enough hours to have one, and I made sure I had a week off in the summer and a week off in the winter so I didn’t go completely mad.

If you are more productive than your colleagues and your boss is the one asking for an increase in hours, can you negotiate a raise that would cover some childcare costs?

So probably ok for another couple of months - do you get annual leave? Could you use that to drop your hours to 30 a week or so and work like the pp said? Then at least you may feel as though you get a bit more of a break.

Thanks @ChanklyBore that's very helpful. I'm starting to think I'll ask for a day off every week (as part of my annual leave) to make things easier.

@Schoolchoicesucks yes in getting a payrise. It will show in this up coming paychecks, so my main plan is to suck it up until I see it. And then negotiate (if it's not high enoy).

Oh and I have 8 days off in a couple of weeks. It's just that always I end up in this cycle of "it's not so bad" but by the end of the week I struggle to cover my hours. I do it, wake up the next Monday feeling refreshed and the cycle starts again.