What am I doing wrong?

[Atticus500]

11 week old cries and cluster feeds every single evening from 6pm onwards. Well, if I’m honest, she’s feeding and not sleeping all day long, but it’s the nightly, “you can set your watch by it” evening meltdowns and cluster feeding which is really bothering me. I can’t help but feel this should’ve started to get better as we approach 12 weeks, but she seems to be getting worse. Day naps are non existent, nights are filled with screaming and days are spent bfing like she’s a newborn. What am I doing wrong??

Firstly, newborns love to make life difficult so it’s nothing you are doing wrong! It sounds like you’re having a really rough time and are doing amazingly to cope with it.

Secondly in terms of how to improve the evening crying, does she seem in pain? Consider something like silent reflux if so (I assume you’re winding her and it’s unlikely to be gas). Or possibly if she isn’t napping in the day she is overtired and crying for that reason. Is there anything like the sling or the car that makes her drop off that you could do to make her nap?

Is she EBF? If not, what bottle/formula are you using?

Sadly some babies do just lose it in the evenings without any particular cause or reason. Hang in there. My daughter is really colicky and it’s a nightmare I know

Cluster feeding is normal. How is her sleep overnight? Not that I would expect her to go long between feeds overnight at this age.

Sounds like colic. Infacol or colief? Burp really well and hold upright for half an hour after feeds

Oh you are not doing anything wrong. You sound like you are doing a great job

Tired babies scream more, so if there is any way to improve those daytime naps that will help
cluster feeding is normal. One book I read suggested pumping some milk in the morning when (if) you have lots and then at 6/7 pm when they start cluster feeding, feed them and then top them up with the expressed milk in a bottle.
This worked a treat with my dc1 and it really took the pressure off.

You might not be doing anything wrong. Cluster feeding in the evening is common I’m afraid, and hopefully it will gradually reduce.

Non-existent day naps sounds a bit of a problem, I imagine at least some of the screaming will be due to being over-tired. How are you settling baby for naps? At this age, I was definitely in the “feed to sleep and cuddle throughout ” camp if that was what was needed. You can always change habits later if they don’t suit you, but if you’re finding this tough, you do what you need to do. Self-settling etc can be taught later.

Well nothing apart from maybe having too high expectations. Babies are tiny dictators with no sense or concern for your well being. Have you got a partner or anyone who could take the baby for a bit so you can rest?

Naps are crucial and it's so annoying when they decide they hate them - as PP I'd just do whatever you need to to get her off to sleep: long buggy walk, out in the sling, driving round, feed to sleep, white noise, fan. Sleep begets sleep.

@Atticus500 mine was up every 2 hours (every. two. hours) like clockwork till 6 months. (EBF). Once weaning started he got better.

The evening scream is overtiredness. She needs a lot more sleep during daytime, be it pram, cot, sling, anything but get her to sleep.