How much formal education at 2/3 yrs old?

[FizzingWhizzbee123]

So DS will turn 3 yrs old in a few months time. I thought he was doing just fine. His language is pretty well developed, he can basically just talk now. He uses long sentences and is firmly in the “why?!” phases (which is driving me slightly loopy!). He loves to read both with me and by himself, and can recite many of his favourite books from memory. His fine motor skills are pretty good. He’s great at puzzles, tackling up to 60 pieces. He can be kind and caring and great at sharing.... when he wants to! He can recognise written numbers up to about 12 and can count up to 20 (although likes to skip the number 13, I guess he’s superstitious 🤣). He can recognise some letters and the phonics sounds but hasn’t shown much interest in letters so I haven’t pushed it, just casually drop them into daily conversations as we see letters around. He knows his colours, including light/dark shades. His imaginative play is really coming on. He’s always been a bit behind his peers with his gross motor skills as he’s quite cautious, but he’s whizzing around on his balance bike now and getting good at climbing equipment in the park, has found his confidence recently. He goes to a Forest School ethos nursery which encourages a lot of learning through play and being outdoors. Anyway, for a child who’s not even 2 yet, I didn’t have any worries about his development.

Then I saw a friend recently who said that he son can recite the alphabet, count and recognise his numbers up to 110 and that he’s starting to learn addition and subtraction! He goes to science clubs and art clubs and his nursery do set music, maths, English sessions along with chosen specialism subjects.

I really don’t normally compare him to other children (In fact I try to actively avoid doing that) and I personally believe that most of his learning is best coming through play at this age, rather than formally learning things by rote. I sort of feel there’s enough time for that stuff when he starts school. But it was such a big difference that I started to wonder if I should be trying to teach my son a bit more formally? It made me feel lazy that I hadn’t taught him more!

Just interested in how other people approach the balance of play vs formal learning with their preschoolers.

*i meant not even 3 yet.

I really think your son is fine. Don't compare.

Chosen specialism subjects at 2/3?? That's just bonkers. OP your son is advanced and your approach is great. The EYFS (Early Years Foundation Stage for up to 5) is all about learning through play.

Don't compare

Your DS does great and there's no need to do more. Children need to be children and just play. Your son can do so much already and would be bored out of his head when he starts reception if you try to keep up with that tiger mum friend of yours.

The answer to your original question is none!

I think your child sounds normal- but top end of normal. For comparison one of my DDs could barely count to ten when starting school at 4... But she was also in the normal range, just bottom end of it.

Friends child sounds hot housed, so hard to tell if naturally gifted. Enjoy the toddler/preschool phase while you can.

Please, please, please don't go down the formal route. Children aged 2/3 need to play, play and play. Being able to recite the alphabet is utterly pointless and will be of no benefit. They don't need to learn letters/numbers to prepare them for school - that's what school does.

🙄

Don’t even get into it. Your boy sounds like he is doing loads already. Most important thing is he is happy and healthy take no notice

Thank you for the replies. In my heart, I already knew that this wasn’t ‘the norm’, I’m not really sure why it’s been playing on my mind. I’m more than happy for him to primarily learn through play, they’re such sponges at this age, they just seem to suck info up regardless. I think because he does absorb a lot naturally, it got me wondering whether I should be actively teaching him more, but we’ll carry on as we are, just learning a range of interesting things as we encounter them.

I do wonder what her child will learn at primary school when he starts, if he’s already done it all. That said, I think he’ll go to a private school, so maybe they’re used to kids having had structured preschool education so reception is already a stage further? I really don’t know.

My 2 year old is the same as your little boy and can do the things listed, and I’ve done the same as you pretty much, just let her learn through play. She’s not gone to a nursery or preschool yet but hoping to start her when she turns 3 (in November.) I don’t do formal lessons or anything like that but like you I worry I should be.

I think now is the time to just foster their natural likes, give them a big variety of toys and activities to explore etc. We do miss the groups we used to do (music/swimming/gymnastics) and hoping they reopen soon! We’ve had to make do with setting up gymnastics in the garden with her little friends!

Your post has reassured me she is normal and doing ok! So try not to worry. He sounds completely fine and IMO as long as they are happy then that’s the most important thing until they start formal education.

He learned most of his numbers and colours through Thomas! It’s completely useless information in real life but there’s not much he can’t tell you about the trains, he’ll tell you their name, colour, number, engine parts, where they work, fuel type and their job 😆 I now know more about steam trains than I ever wanted to. I had to Google coupling rods a few days ago because was asking what they were and I had no idea! So if train anatomy is part of the Early Years Foundation, then he’s sorted 😆

The answer to your original question is none

This ^

Your friend is lying, bonkers, or both

He doesn't need any formal education yet.

It's not the actual information that's important it's asking the questions and finding out the answers with your help that matters.

I do wonder what her child will learn at primary school when he starts, if he’s already done it all.Perhaps hell be learning all the social skills he missed out on when he was having 'formal education'. Maybe not but I had a child like this in my class once, his development was very unbalanced.

@CaptainMyCaptain I like that. It’s more about the journey than the destination?

I think she’s probably telling the truth and he can recite all that stuff, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a comprehension gap and he’s doing it by rote but not fully understanding it?

I guarantee your friend is chatting shit. Her child probably doesn't sleep through the night, is not potty trained and whatever else she's coming out with. Eye roll and wait for it all to be untrue ;)

I think you need to calm down a bit.

He is doing great and his nursery sounds wonderful. Hopefully your friend's nursery has a similar attitude but just dresses it up for the competitive parents (chosen specialism subjects = 'OK children, who would like to play in the sandpit and who would to play with water this afternoon' ). Nursery should be about being outside as much as normal and learning life skills.

It’s more about the journey than the destination?

That's it exactly @FizzingWhizzbee123

His nursery is great, we’re very lucky. I got a text today to say that tomorrow will be all about water play (due to the expected heat!) so to send even more spare clothes than usual. They’re growing their own veg at the moment too.

We’ve done a few ad hoc little things at home. DS was really into the Hungry Caterpillar so over lockdown, simply for something to do, I got some caterpillars for us to hatch into butterflies, which was fun. A neighbour gave us a tomato plant so he’s helping care for that. He learned a bit about water states after playing with ice cubes in the paddling pool and talking about when water gets hot and cold. But none of it was planned, we just chat about random stuff as it comes up mostly - even more so since the “whhhhhhhy?!” phase kicked in!

I have a just turned 3 year old, & a 4 & 5 year old.

Sounds like he is doing great, and beyond in many aspects for his age. Don’t compare your child to others, they all differ.

My 3 year old can count ok, name letters, shapes etc but is behind a little speech wise, however physically she is above her age expectation, bike ( no stabilisers), climbing, jumping, tumbling etc.

Their 5 year old sibling is similar just finished reception but on starting couldn’t count or name a letter unless it was a car or tractor model ( wasn’t interested in counting, phonics etc) still isn’t either and is classed as behind in literacy & numeracy. Many of his peers are maths geniuses already according to the parents and will go be this, that and the other. Mine is fab on a bmx & skateboard and can make cheese sauce from scratch and loves building stuff out of wood. The other sibling is a bookworm and way ahead of sibling going into reception this year.

Not stealth boasting but trying to point out all have different capabilities, strengths etc and all vary.

Don’t compare it will drive you bonkers, their too young to be focusing on educational achievements, plenty of time later for that, have fun and relax a little.

Lovely post @EcoCustard. It’s true, there are many things to be valued beyond numbers and letters. I want my son to grow up to be a kind, happy and well rounded individual. Obviously I’d like him to do well at school and get a good job, but he doesn’t have to be top of anything. In life, there’s always someone better than you at something.

I must say, I’m impressed with your 3 year old riding a bike! My DS can manage his balance bike, but tried out a friend’s pedal trike a few days ago and couldn’t figure out the pedals for love nor money 😆