Toddler laughing when I tell him off

[Glamazoni]

Hello, I am struggling with my two year olds behaviour. When I say ‘stop stop’ he laughs and just repeats it and keeps going. And he’s being naughty and talks to himself. So he throws something and says ‘stop Jackson’ ‘naughty Jackson’ like he would expect me to say. Then does it some more. His name is not Jackson by the way. What can you do to discipline a child who just laughs? Thank you.

Can anyone give any advice please? My eldest was not like this and I don’t know how to handle it.

You're possibly not being stern enough, or making the consequences meaningful to him.

In the example you give, if he were to throw something when he's been told not to, how would you normally handle it?

First I would tell him no, that’s not nice, and take the toy away. But he would just throw something else. He looks right at my eyes like he intends it and then he throws it straight at me. If I put him in the corner he does not stay there. If I shout and get angry he just repeats what I say. He will climb the book shelves and climb on the dining chairs, I tell him no but he keeps doing it, even when he fell off and cried he still did it again. He blows his tongue in my face repeatedly and sometimes he hits me with his hands or his head, when I say it’s naughty and be stern he just laughs. He keeps pouring the water bowl of our dog over his head and I had to take away the bowl, so the dog has to bark for a drink. As I said he knows it’s wrong because he says ‘naughty boy stop doing that’ while he does it.

Hi,

My 2 year old is like this. He’s into everything and very physical, wants everything straight away and reacts very quickly. I remind myself (often!) that he is exploring and learning about reactions, including my own. I realised that when I get cross and raise my voice, he finds it hilarious and, as you say, often he just carries on. So I try to remain calm, lower my voice and say something like “I won’t let you....” or “we use gentle hands...” then take it away or move him away. Then move on from it quickly, even if I’m still annoyed about it and divert his attention. I believe that following through on what you say is more important than dragging it out (e.g. take the toy away so he knows you mean it but then read a book or go outside straight after and be really positive about the new activity).

Also, if he’s throwing/jumping on something I try to find a way he can do it safely e.g. “let’s throw that in the garden” or set up some water play for him.

It’s hard and exhausting and I do get frustrated but having set phrases in my head ready to use helps a lot. Also I know this behaviour won’t just stop overnight but I feel more in control and calmer, which is how I’d love my DS to be one day :)

Same with my toddler. Laughs like a maniac when hes trouble. So I do a very quick "time out" mainly just to take him away from what he was doing or I take something away eg a toy that hes holding. Not for long though as hes still little yet. Just to get the idea in his head atm. Seems to work just now 😊

I think it’s just in the toddler job description I still remember a video of me on proper tape recorder where my mum says “tmh don’t throw that..” I look her dead in the eye and throw it across the room this is when I was about 2 1/2 or 3.

Don’t raise your voice. Stay calm. Try to get him to stop what he is doing and meet your eyes (not always possible I know!). Calmly say “don’t throw toys (or whatever). They could hurt someone or get broken. If you throw a toy, the toy goes away”. The consequence should ideally fit the crime (!) and be immediate. If he laughs and throws the toy, you take the toy away - “don’t through toys. If you throw a toy the toy goes away” but DON’T raise your voice (as he may enjoy your reaction). Ignore any ensuing tantrum, stay calm and just repeat “don’t throw toys. If you throw a toy it goes away. When you are calm, you can have the toy back”. If he is calm and well behaved, give the toy back. If it gets thrown again, this time tell him it is going away until tomorrow. Stay calm at all times, it sounds like he enjoys a reaction.

Hitting the consequence needs to be removal of your attention for a fixed period of time. I’m guessing he won’t sit for time out? (He’s a bit young to). If he hits, you hold his hands and say “no hitting. Hitting hurts mummy. Mummy can’t play with you if you hit”. Then you remove your attention. Simply walking out of the room might work.... or if you have a playpen he can’t get out of, you could try that. Come back every 2 minutes to see if he is calm. If he is calm, he gets a fresh start. If he isn’t, you stay calm “I can see that you are still angry. Do you need a cuddle, or do you want some more time to get calm?”

The fresh start is important. Every time has to be completely fresh, as if you have the total expectation that he will never do that behaviour again. He will. You’ll need to be patient (and I know it’s really hard, and you won’t always succeed!). Good luck! We all get through this eventually.