5 month old will no longer sleep alone

[Rainbowchampagne]

I’m only tearing my hair out because she was going down at night fine a couple of weeks ago.

She’s always napped on me, refused to nap anywhere else. Now all of a sudden naps are a huge fight with lots of tears, she will still only nap on me, usually if I put her down she is wide awake the second she touches the mattress. I always wait for at least one sleep cue before getting her to nap so i know she’s tired.

But now she also won’t go down at night on her own. Have not changed her bedtime routine at all and keep sticking to it, but every time I put her down she seems wide awake and starts screaming. So I let her fall asleep and then put her down. Then she will wake up shortly after and won’t settle so I repeat the cycle. Eventually she will end up in bed with me when I go up. Which wouldn’t be the biggest issue but she has to be touching me at all times and it’s blooming hot!

Maybe she’s over tired? I’ve tried a later bed time because she seems tired pre story, bath, bottle but is wide awake when trying to put her down.

Should I change the routine? Bath, bottle, story?

Is it sleep regression? Should I just ride it out and keep trying?

Would be so grateful for any tips or advice. It’s too hot to co sleep!

Sounds like the 4 month sleep regression which can hit anytime between 3 and 5 months.

It's a permanent change to their sleep cycles as they adjust to a more mature, adult-like cycle. It can be a case of just battling through it but there are things you can do to help her along.

When she wakes shortly after you putting her down, is it roughly the same time each time, i.e. she keeps waking after 45 mins? If so that is one sleep cycle and she's not able to link her cycles yet, so wakes fully and needs you to put her back to sleep again. Unfortunately this doesn't tend to get much better unless you teach her how to settle herself, which needs to happen at the very start of the sleep (bedtime). If she goes to sleep where she stays asleep, it's more likely she will be able to do so throughout the night.

Even if she's waking earlier than 45mins, it could still be the regression as they spend longer in light sleep and are more easily woken by noise and other changes.

Absolutely keep the routine, and keep it consistent. Make sure you also have a shorter 'bedtime' routine for naps too. If later bedtime didn't work then I'd look at bringing earlier (by small increments over the course of a week or so, not all at once). It may be she's overtired - babies can get 'wired' when too tired and it makes it harder for them to sleep. Check your awake windows during the day and adjust of they're too long. Sometimes looking for cues means you catch them too late. A nap routine could help you here - something like one hour at 9am,1.5-2.5hrs at 12pm and then a cat nap around 4pm. Always make sure there is at least 2-2.5hrs between end of last nap of the day and bedtime so that she's guaranteed to be tired but not overtired.

Good luck!

@mycupofstars thank you so much! I think it must be sleep regression then, if she does go down she will wake approx 45 mins later. I will start trying some sleep training!

I am going to bring her bedtime forward, and amend the routine because I’ve realised she has story bed feed, but in the day she usually feeds post sleep which is probably confusing. So I’m going to do it backwards! 🤞🏼🤞🏼

Sleep training in the official sense (CC CIO) shouldn't be done til 6months but gentle encouragement is definitely good at this age.

In fact I'd keep the feed further from the sleep so change the bedtime routine if anything - it will break any feed to sleep associations and mean she's not waking for feeds so much at night

Hope it helps!