When does it get manageable?

[Atticus500]

I’m a FTM to DD who is 11 weeks on Friday. She has no pattern of feeding (EBF) or sleeping (rarely naps for more than 30 mins here and there in the day) and still has a really cranky/fussy period most evenings, as well as cluster feeding. She possets lots, poops all day long and struggles with gas. I find it hard to get through the day without falling apart and feel I can’t do much for myself. I’ve read babies develop patterns, become more manageable, you can start to do more with your day and evenings, and their digestive issues clear. When did this happen for you? Or is it all a lie to get mums through a difficult time?

I’m really hoping someone says 12 Weeks!

I'm finding parenting a lot easier now mine is nearly 10 (years that is).

Once the free hours at nursery start you get a bit of a break in the day. But it's still hard.
It got a slight bit easier around the 4 month mark.
But it's just different struggles at different ages.

You can create patterns in your day to give predictability. Even now.

Try breaking your day into repeating cycles, whereby the same things happen in the same order. A usual newborn cycle would be:

● Wake
● Awake time, which includes, in this order:

• Full feed as soon as waking up
• good, long upright winding session. At least 5-10 mins, use as cuddle time too (during this you'll often get a poo, the feed/wind triggers it)
• Nappy off tummy time (until grumbling about it)
• New nappy
• Floor time (until grumbling about it)
• Top up feed

● Sleep ● Try to resettle upon waking (often won't work, but always try).

And repeat over and over again.

As an approximation, this who cycle should last 2h to 2h30 from start to end. Nap would predictibly be around 30-45 mins, awake time 60-90 mins. It divides you day into repeatable, predictable chunks.

I ended up paying to download the little ones sleep programme that gave a good day structure to work to. Otherwise I felt a bit lost.

It got easier when i went back to work!

It gets a bit easier at 3 months, then again at 6 months, then for me it was when I went back to work. Although, ds is now 22 months and being an absolute shit so...

When they’re grown up and moved out?!

Kidding. It’s hard. Don’t hold your breathe for 12 weeks. It might, but it varies a lot. Mine was slightly better around 4 months and noticeably better by 6 months, but it’s gradual improvement so you may not recognise it at the time.

At 4 months I remember each time thinking it had got much easier.

A friend sent me the little ones sleep programme and it was amazing for my twins. They had reliable naps, feed Times and slept through the night. I need structure and it really helped me start to enjoy it all more.

Four months can be rough as the sleep regression is a real doozy. We used Little Ones too. It wasn’t a magic bullet but I think it helped give us some structure.

It did get easier then, but my son is now 4 and a bit months and I feel like its gotten hard again, but manageable because I 'know' him better. Its 100% not as hard as the newborn days though.

It's a lie. I'm sorry.

Put it this way, it's 5am. I've been up with my 15mo for an hour and a half and am currently sat in her cot trying to get her back to sleep.

My husband is in with our 3 year old, for the second time since 1am.

When our first was 3 months old we were still going out for dinner, even parties, just with her in a sling. We had our days, and our evenings, and night wake ups though frequent, were brief.

It changes though over time, and you night be suited to some stages more than others. It might be that you have a magical sleeping child, or that you are a person who finds toddlerhood easier.

It's pretty normal to find it hard at first though, because you are getting used to a new normal.