When a playdate host says "collect whenever you like"

[TheOrigBrave]

DS2 (age 11) has been invited to play with a friend. I know and like his Mum. She knows I am a lone parent and work full time so as well as the invitation being lovely for my son, it helps me out enormously (especially at the moment with so many sports/summer camps not running).

When I asked what time I should collect she said they were there all day, had no plans and he could stay as long as he liked and as long as I needed.

They are a farming family and the boys will be outside pretty much all day, either playing football or on the quad bike around the farm, and apart from feeding, I know she won't need to supervise them a great deal.

What do you think would be a non-piss taking time to collect?
5pm? So then he'll be home for dinner?

nb YES I do have her son over here. My son is allowed to go out in our village and the park alone, whereas she's not comfortable with her son doing that so I have to have him at the weekend when I'm not working.

5 or 6 pm. She sounds genuinely relaxed in that rural way, and as you say, they don’t require much supervision.

By dinner sounds fine. Lovely that you and you DS have such friends!

Yes, I think by dinner is fine. I would just let her know what time to expect you (and if that doesn't work for her, she can say so). Very lovely of her to offer.

5pm would be fine. Just let her know that time and specify you’ll pick him up before dinner at 5. That way she doesn’t make him a dinner :)

I agree. Most important point is to let her know when to expect you. Don’t suppose she’s in the wets country and wants to take on a delinquent 3yo too??? 🤞🤞🤞

Tell her you’ll be there next Tuesday

In this case I’d text her about mid afternoon to ask how they were getting on and say you could pick them up now or a bit later, whatever was most convenient, and that gives the parent a chance to say “now” or to extend the invitation to just before or just after dinner depending on how the play date is going...

Tell her it will take you some time to get his stuff packed, but thank you for the offer

About a week....

I think a better question to,ask wouid be to find out if she intends feeding them in the evening and if so when. Pick up just before if you think she'd rather yours were gone, just after if she sounds genunely OK with it.

They way DC spend their time there sounds great, and is minimal extra demand on her (possibly even reducing it, as adding friends often makes your own DC more likely to vanish happily)

I would take this as a polite way of saying pick him up before dinner. I have rural friends too and if dinner is included they usually say so.

Hmm. When do the schools go back again?

We have dinner at 5pm so if it were me I’d probably prefer 4/4.30 collection so it didn’t interfere with that.

I'd suggest a time, 5pm sounds good, but then as PP said, send a text to see how they are doing so she can let you know if you need to turn up earlier for whatever reason.

Thanks all. I messaged her about midday to say I had a meeting at 4pm and would it be OK to come after that (about 5) and I'd do him dinner and she replied saying all fine.

She's a good egg. I'm sure she won't mind/notice a few extras sneaking through the hedge now and again!

Not West Country I'm afraid - rural Essex.