OK, this will be a bit long. Sorry in advance.
I've got a 4 month old DS. He's wonderful, amazing, gorgeous, but a bit high needs! He can never just 'be' on a playmat for example, he'll stay on it for maybe 5 mins before he cries to be picked up. I spend lots of time devising entertainment for him, toys, games, songs, you name it! His daytime sleep is somewhat OK, 3 naps a day at 2 hour intervals, two short naps and one longer one over lunch (most of the time, sometimes lunchtime nap ends after 40 mins and i can't get him back to sleep). All naps in his cot as he wont sleep anywhere else.
My dad and his wife visited at the weekend and both seemed to think the amount of time and effort I put into DS was both hilarious and excessive. The phrase 'making a rod for my own back' was used several times. Mostly I think thry were a bit exasperated that I said going out for lunch at the particular place they wanted was difficbecause we wouldn't be back in time for DS next nap.
Im doubting myself now. On one hand, I get it. I am essentially tied to the house, trapped by the nap as it were. Other mums with babies seem to make their baby fit in with their lives, where as I have adapted my life to suit my baby. On the other hand DS is usually happy and well rested, and we do go on short outings for walks and things. Nothing practical gets done during the day though, any housework has to wait until DS is asleep for the night.
My mum says that when I was a baby she just put me in my pram in the front room and got on with her day, checking up on me every now and then. Sometimes i would be asleep, sometimes awake. I appreciate parenting styles have changed, but I just couldn't do that with DS, he screams the place down if I leave him alone for longer than it takes to maybe go to the loo!
Slings/carriers have been suggested and i have tried, but DS hates them all. I've hired 4 different kinds and ge just arches and cries trying to get out. Again, when I told my mum thus, she just said he'll just have to cry then, he'll soon get used to it. Again, that phrase, 'making a rod for my own back'.
I'm a first time mum and generally quite anxious anyway. Now doubting everything! Am I being weak by giving in to my baby, or meeting his needs? I no longer know!