Toddler behaviour towards mother.

[Rubyduby26]

My DS is 2.4 now and he is amazing in so many ways. However sometimes his behaviour is awful!

His speech is good so I am not sure if it's frustration but he hits me, throws things at me and generally acts like a dick towards me

He has the usual tantrums kicking and screaming at hearing the word no and I just ignore or distract until it's run its course.

The issue is with all the hitting and it's only ever aimed at me. I don't know where he has learned this from! When he does it I tell him no don't hit me that hurts. If he's throwing things at me I will take away whatever it was he was throwing.

This has been going on for months now and I just can't see a way to stop it, I stay as calm and patient as I possibly can but yesterday after another shoe thrown in my face I burst into tears.

I'm a SAHM and we do lots of things together, he bed shares with me, we have a good relationship, so why does he aim all of his aggression towards me? And most importantly how can I stop it?

You need to have boundaries.
You need to set some boundaries with your kid, he needs to know that you won’t be hit you should be firm in your tone. Praise his good work or things he does that you like. I would let him have his own bed . And explain you no to him - no because of xyz and help him understand hun because he doesn’t know why so he might feel frustrated. Hope that helps

Watch a few supernanny episodes. This behaviour is very common, but 100% not acceptable. If he is like this at 2, imagine what he will be like at 5! But, he is very young, so it can solved now, but it does require calmness, boundaries, and a clear follow through with discipline every single time.

Like I said. Supernanny. My mom was a childminder for years and years and basically was supernanny. She never had a single behaviour issue and managed 7 kids at one time.

It's a weird toddler back hand - he does it because you have the strongest relationship with him. It is really normal but it is so bloody hard!

My son goes through phases of this too - I grab his hand when he swings at me, and in a firm voice I say 'Hitting HURTS. I will NOT let you hit me'. I will restrain him if he's really going for it. It's not pretty, but I think of it as my job to keep him safe and myself safe. Usually it makes him cry when I say it but it seems to be because he knows he's acting out and is embarrassed. You cannot reason with a child in that state, you just have to let it pass, as long as they're safe and then pick it up when they've calmed down.

I really rate Simply on Purpose and DrBeckyAtHome on Instagram - so many useful tips!

You're doing a great job, I'm sure! It feels hard because it is hard!!

Watching because my just turned 2 yo DS is exactly the same! I think it’s normal boundary pushing tbh. They’re learning what is and isn’t acceptable (as well as taking out their frustrations!) and as long as you’re firm and consistent, they do grow out of it. They do it to their mothers because they feel most comfortable with us.

I would also walk away and ignore him for a few minuets.

Mine was very like this. Don’t let it go ever, tell off every time.
My DS is three now and it’s stopped. He still tantrums but doesn’t hit out at me now.

Thanks for the advice! I will follow that Instagram account!

Yeah he started it a few months ago and has had periods of not doing it at all but it's been really bad these last few weeks and I just thought I must be doing something wrong!

I always tell him every single time he does it, he knows it's not allowed it's almost like he's just pushing his luck with me for some reason!

He wouldn't dream of doing it to anyone else and if he sees other kids play fighting he will narrate and tell me that its not kind to hit so he definitely knows!

I will try the holding his hands I've tried that before but it seemed to just piss him off more, is that the same with your little one? @HoneyWheeler

I'll just keep pulling him up on it and hope it passes quickly!

Yeah it does - in my mind, it is ok for them to be angry when I enforce a boundary. They can feel what they like, and I can have compassion for that but it doesn't mean a boundary isn't there. I try and think of my boundaries as a wall, not a door.

I am by no means a perfect parent and yesterday I lost it at my son but I think that's because parenting right now is super tough.