6yo still in a pull up at night

[UncleBrynsPicasso]

DS recently turned 6, and is still not dry at night. He never has been. We have done all the recommended things before bed - not too much to drink later on in the day, he doesn’t drink squash/fizzy drinks, and he has a wee when he comes up for his bath and then another wee just before getting into bed. He falls asleep about 8pm and on the occasions when we’ve left the pull-up off we’ve tried lifting him for a wee about 10.30pm, and often he’s already wet - there doesn’t seem to be a set pattern when his bladder empties. The pull up is usually very wet in the morning.

Besides this he’s a bright healthy boy with no other issues but he is starting to feel embarrassed about it, especially as his younger sibling is now dry. We saw the GP when he turned 5 who was not concerned and just said to wait but there’s no improvement. We never make a big deal of it, offer lots of reassurance if he gets upset, and there’s no family/school/anxiety issues.

Anyone have any similar experience? I know there’s alarms and things to try, and as be gets older and might be invited to sleepovers and things I just wondered if it’s likely to sort itself out or if it’s worth trying something.

There are things people can try but I believe it's down to when the body starts to release a particular hormone, which helps kids control their bladder.

So understandably if he's getting embarrassed and is upset, then he's aware it's an issue, which is a start, but it may be absolutely out of his control for now and I think that reassuring him that this does happen, would help for the time being.

Both my children were in pull ups until they were 7. With DS1, I tried to take him out of them a few times, always resulting in a wet bed and a very stressed child. The interrupted sleep wasn't much fun either! So, I decided to just relax and keep them on him until he was dry. After all, it wasn't something he could control. He went from soaking pants thudding dramatically onto the bathroom floor every morning to completely dry overnight when he was about 7 and a half.

With DS2 I just decided to stick with the pull ups and not even try him without them until he was dry. He asked to come out of them a couple of times and I let him but, after flooding the bed, he agreed it was best to keep them on and see how it went. Unlike his brother, he started to be dry 2 or 3 nights in a row. This lasted a few months. Then he was dry for a week and I took them off him altogether. He has been dry now since March, apart from the odd wee accident.

I honestly wouldn't worry too much just yet. There are lots of things people do to try and get their children dry, but they will only be dry when their bodies are producing the correct levels of hormones to slow down their bladders at night.

Thank you, both of you. My gut feeling was to leave it for now - the GP didn’t seem to have much faith in the alarms and things and waking him to go when he’d usually already had a wee seemed pointless. We have had a very occasional dry night but it’s never been more than that.

Totally feel the ‘soaking pants thudding to the floor’ sound bless him. He was fairly late to potty training as he just never seemed ready at 2, but picked up up quickly at about 3.5 and apart from a small number of times in the first term of Reception he’s never had accidents during the day.

We’ll just stick with the pull ups for now!

Yes, we had the same with my ds.
He had a lot of problems with constipation which is a massive trigger for bed wetting.
We tried to increase the size of the bladder by drinking more water in the day, which worked more than anything else we had tried. This was on the advice of the (the name of this area of medicine escapes me and I cannot be bothered to google) specialist nurse our GP referred ds to.

I've taken Brownies away on residential events who were older than your DS and who wore pull-ups at night. It's not that unusual.

@JaJaDingDong

I've taken Brownies away on residential events who were older than your DS and who wore pull-ups at night. It's not that unusual.

I think that’s what made me ask JaJa - he’s shown an interest in Beavers and when I was reading about the activities it mentioned sleepovers. He does seem to be a very deep sleeper, his little sister (now 3) went through a brief but intense period of night terrors when she was 2 and she would scream and sob and (thankfully) he never heard a thing.

My 7yo is still on pull-ups. I am at a loss about it. He was really easy to potty train and very bright in every other way. He just is a really deep sleeper and when I talk to him about it and say about going to the toilet at night he says 'I'm just fast asleep though and don't realise until morning'. I haven't spoken to the GP because I don't want him to feel embarrassed by it (my mum said I was really late as well and I can assure you I am fine now). I do feel really anxious about what to do about it though.

Ds2 was the same in our area they only refer to continence service at aged 7. Following assessment and scan of bladder we used an alarm mat which didn't help just upset him when it alarmed, night toileting didn't help either. They then put him on some medication which was like a miracle cure. He had it regularly then was slowly reduced off and were told to just use it for sleep overs then eventually stopped it. He's 11 now and I'd say he hasn't had an accident for at least two years.
Start by keeping a diary of input and output, bowel habits and accidents before you see gp (as they'll just send you away to complete this) then ask gp for a continence referal.

My nephew was in his early teens before he was dry. Was under doctors in the end.

My son was nearly 6 before he was dry. In the end I was convinced he was just lazy and didn't want to go to the loo so I took a gamble and took it away (with an incontinence pad under sheet) and the promise of 50p for each dry nappy given as a £10 note after 20 dry nights (cost of pull ups each). We did this in combination of lifting him for a wee when we went to bed. It worked. Hardy any accidents. Might be worth a go.

My sister had an alarm, or a buzzer as it was called then, waaay back in the seventies. We shared a room and the buzzer sounded when urine was detected on a plastic sheet on her bed. It woke me every single time, while she generally slept through it. So being a deep sleeper may have been part of the problem. A couple of times, though, she got up in a daze and peed in the corner of the bedroom! My mum gave up on it after a while. The noise of the thing was bloody terrifying. I still have flashbacks when I hear a similar sound. I'm sure they have been improved since then, but I'm still not keen on the concept.

Interestingly, a few family members on both sides have admitted either to bed wetting past the expected age themselves or having children/siblings who did. So I wonder if it runs in families - no pun intended

Thanks all. I was the same with the GP TheMiMit, I went to the appointment by myself as I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed. Although a year ago he wasn’t as bothered, it’s only more recently (since his little sister is now dry at night) that he’s become a bit sad about it.

He definitely doesn’t know he’s doing it, I did talk to him and ask him if he was sure he wasn’t doing a wee while the pull up was still on in the morning (the doctor had also asked that) and he said no, he just didn’t know it was happening. Constipation has never been an issue but he does sometimes still get very distracted in what he’s doing and then has to run to the toilet.

AhBallix that alarm sounds terrifying - I’d give one a go if it was suggested but after what seems like a long time of badly-sleeping babies and toddlers we’re finally all getting some decent sleep so I’d rather not be yanked awake by the sound of that!

he’s shown an interest in Beavers and when I was reading about the activities it mentioned sleepovers.

Don't let it stop him from joining Beavers, nor going on residentials.
If he's not dry at night by the time that happens, just explain the situation to one of the Leaders. They'll help him discreetly dispose of the pull-up in the morning, and deal with wet sleeping bags, pyjamas etc. It won't be the first time they've done it, and it won't be the last.

My son said he didn't know he was doing it and your son may well feel the same. Have you tried putting him to bed without one and seeing what happens? Took me ages to be brave enough to try.

Might not be any help but might be worth trying.

My son turned 6 last October and got around to staying dry earlier this year about jan/Feb time. Like others have said, my son is a very heavy sleeper!
We got him one of those buzzer/alarm things which came with stickers (upto 12 weeks worth) and kept up consistency of using it at night at both my house and his dads house. It takes a couple of weeks but he managed to stay dry then before the 12 weeks was up. Hes been dry ever since.
My ohs son is coming up to 6 and a half and is still sleeping in the pull ups, I think he is not wetting as heavily but he doesn't seem to have consistency- I think his mum got a buzzer thing but only used it once or twice and didn't give it to my OH to keep up with here. With him he tends to be what my OH is called lazy, he sometimes wets himself in the day cos he forgets to go or doesn't want to leave the ipad, or if u don't take the pull up off first thing in morning he chooses to wet in it and has a few times even messed in it. He is getting bothered now that hes the only one in pull ups and my son and oh's nephews dont need them, but we are adamant he stays in the pull ups until he stays dry consistently. (I did the same with my son, waitee until he had 2 dry weeks)

My 14 year old was in pull ups until she was 8, tried over and over before that and failed.

Took her to the gp when she was 6 and he said bring her back when she's 8 if she's still doing it.

One night the pull up was dry and again the following night, so we braved it the third night without a pull up and she never wet the bed again!

Definitely agree with the hormone! My son was dry at night at 4