How does anyone get anything done with toddler/FT job

[Everybloodybottleunderthesun]

I get up before 6 on weekdays, at 6 at weekends. I am on the go until about 9pm when I try to collapse into bed, usually more like 10 then tired (seem to need a lot of sleep). Have a never ending to do list and don’t even seem to make a dent in it and no quality time with DH. Lots of things to fix etc which would make the day to day smoother but no time alone to do it. Large house and garden, we have a help with a gardener and cleaner, DS a combination of nursery and a nanny. My job is intense and pressurised so tiring but I can mostly WFH.

I see people acheievubg so much and doing work on their houses etc, I can’t even seem to keep on top of the basics, how the hell Do you all do it?!

If you’re out of the house 11 hours a day I’m not surprised you’re knackered. You need to get dh more involved sounds like he gets your dinner on and that’s about it.

If you find the answer, could you let me know?!

I’m usually around more than him to be honest and WFH a lot, he’s out of the house long hours. He does all morning getting ready of DS then makes dinner when he’s at home and tidies the kitchen up after. That’s about it. He is just an untidy person and he’s made some improvement but it really doesn’t come naturally. It is very frustrating but I don’t feel there is a lot more that can be done in that department...

Teamwork and hire a cleaner. It won't break the bank and will give you room to breathe.

She has a cleaner gardener and nanny.

OP I think your standards re too high! Seriously the baby years need you to cut some slack.

PS:- Why do you have to be up at 6am at weekends?

We all eat together at about the same time as you feed your DC - I don't love eating so early (it doesn't feel very civilized for grown-ups!) but as well as the other advantages of eating as a family it means that one of us tidies while the other does bed, and so there's no more cooking or cleaning to be done by 7/7.30. I know we're lucky that we're all
usually home in time for dinner at 6/6.30 but when one of us isn't that one has their portion left to heat up when they get in, which leaves just one plate to go in the dishwasher. It does mean that 'normally', when no one is working from home, we have to be organised to get dinner on the table at 6.30 when we don't get home long before that; lots of batch cooking or prepping it all the night before.

@jessstan2 I still have the animals to look after and TBH struggle to get much done once DS is up so try to get ahead - and I want to spend time having fun with him not catching up on all I haven’t done in the week. I try to have an afternoon nap when he does on a Sunday for an hour or so!

@Hardbackwriter I could try this when DH isn’t home to cook and just have something simple with DS. I shall give this a go.

my DH is not at all organised and is very untidy....there is one difference I guess

There you go then. DH needs to fix up.

@BluebellsGreenbells I suppose you’re right, I’m trying to keep everything perfect. But per my OP I do see others seeming to do this AND achieve lots of other ‘projects’ etc too, I have no idea how. Maybe I should just try not to think about it!
Thanks everyone for your advice and help

How many animals do you have? Is it just feeding a couple of cats and turfing then out for a wee? Or are you cleaning out chickens/guinea pigs/horses or something?

What is DH doing while you’re up at 6am on weekends? Is he up and about too, pulling his weight?

Are you wfh? In your details about your day it says you leave at 7.30am and get home at 6pm but further down your at you are wfh.

I mean you can just take some annual leave and chill out alone as you have childcare in place.

We haven’t had any break from Childcare since September. Haven’t left the house alone without the toddler, since February. All nanny/childcare booked up for key workers (STILL)

It can’t be that bad.

I get up at 7:30, dd up and dressed and out the door by 7:45 and drop at nursery at 8am.

I go home and have breakfast and log on to wfh. Finish at about 4ish, when i'll normally sit in the lounge for an hour or so, then cook dinner for about 6ish. Dd goes to bed at 7pm, and whoever isn't putting her to bed does the dishes.
Then we sit down to wath tv etc till 10/11 when we go to bed.

I do the garden on 1 day of the weekend.
Washing happens on fridays normally.
Banking/bills/admin normally happens once a month on payday.
We have a cleaner who comes once a week.

I'm not sure what you are doing that fills your days so much. You also seem to ber working very long hours. You need to be stricter on your hours, especially wfh, as its so easy to spill into overtime.

Do garden weekends with the kids let them help while gardening

It's just all about routine and planning and sticking to it makes life so much easier.

Like to keep on top of washing I do couple loads washing 2-3days other wise it's never ending.

Couple times I didn't do washing for a week as I had enough of it was on a rant that week I think lol. Even though dirty washing left bugged me I left it but come end week it took me weeks to get bac on top of it all was nightmare..
Another week I left it. Coz I was really ill an again weeks to get bac through it again was piling up never ending..

Never again!!!

Sometimes I used to leave my washing up until next morning.. That was normally after a roast dinner coz was always loads to wash up ya pots pans trays loads.. But just got up in morning while kids eat breakfast I just washed up.
But I've now got dishwasher thank god :)