Mums of 2 under 2: when does it get easier?

[reluctantlondoner]

Just that. When and how? I am really struggling...

I have 17 months between mine younger two, the baby is now 20 months and it is soooo much easier. Once they can do boys like feed themselves and will be entertained by tv it gets easier

Like other have said, it does get a lot easier. There is a 21 month gap between DS1 and ds2 (now nearly 6 and very nearly 4 and about to start school in Sept.) I found it began to be easier once they could both talk properly (to us and each other) so for us that was when ds2 was around 2 yrs. At this stage I could let them both go off together in the soft play (when it was quiet) run around at the park without chasing behind the youngest etc. I remember realising things felt easier when we could entertain them both sat down on a 2.5 hour train journey without fear of them running off!

There are many plus sides which will become apparent in time and time will fly so hard as it feels, try not to wish it away. Mine are now good friends, share a room, it is easier to go for days out as they are at similar abilities.

In the first year of ds2's life we did a kitchen extension whilst DH worked abroad for 6 months so I spent a substantial amount of time outside eg going to feed the ducks and at the local park, I was always trying to work out how to fill the day away from the house which was a building site, when the kids were actually just happy to be with me and had very simple needs and expectations.

My only advice is if you decide to have a third have a bigger gap! When DS2 was 28months old I gave birth to dc3 so.....

Oh OP I feel for you. When my youngest was born the eldest was 3 and middle was 1 so we've done this twice.

The first year was hard, but it gets constantly easier. Even now we say "we couldn't have done xyz two months ago but now we can"

it got steadily easier all the time but the hardest time might have been once number 2 was mobile while number 1 wasn't entirely trustworthy. Much easier the last year or so, when they became 4 and 5 and a half. But a lot of that was due to the fact that DS2 didn't reliably sleep through the night until he was 4. Most children manage that earlier .

Mine arw 4.5 and 6 now and having them so close together is amazing. They get along really well (most of the time) and spend hours playing together.
I think it started getting easier when the little one was 2 or 2.5. Its very hard at the beginning when they are both very little, but it does get better!

Honestly the first year is really hard, especially if your older one stops napping, but it only gets easier as they get older (so far!) Set your expectations to almost zero, do what you have to do to just get through the hard days. Seeing them love each other will get you through the shit parts.
I’d say when DD2 was almost 3, and DD1 was 4.5 it started to be actually enjoyable. They are now 5.4 and 3.8 and apart from the constant arguments, life is pretty sweet. We can go out for a whole day without worrying about naps/nappies/tired legs.

Almost in tears now I've eventually got around to reading the replies on here / even remembered that I posted this. Thank you so much. It's so bloody hard. I've just increased my eldest's days at nursery and hope that will help my sanity. Thank goodness most of you say that it gets easier!

18 mths gap and the first 12 weeks were horrific as DC 2 was a terrible feeder and utterly miserable. From 3 months things improved and from 6 months when they were doing things together eg eating, going to the park, sitting on my lap for a story, toddlers group etc things improved and from a year in they generally were in sync. I spent every waking moment out of the house, rain or shine and the baby had to fit in with toddler DD. He slept in the pram or sling or on a sofa and got used to the set up. It is great imo as they get to be 2 and 3 as they really are good companions .

14 month gap here. I would say that with every 6 months that pass, you get used to a new normal and it becomes easier. Once they were over 3 it was lovely as they could feed themselves properly and were at preschool some mornings. Now they are 6 and 7 and they are best friends (most of the time!). You will get there too, make sure you do things for yourself that make you happy in the meantime, even if it's sitting in a park for an hour people watching.

I have a 12 month gap between my 2 DD's (age 14 mo and 26mo) and I found changing their routine helped.
Before it was breakfast, pull my hair out while they fought, lunch, pull my hair out while they fought, dinner, bath, bed.
Now its breakfast, pull my hair out while they fight, lunch, bath, small play time and fun, dinner, bed. And the day feels like it passes faster too which is great because it'll feel like less time in the toddler stage. My mum tells me not to wish my life away. I tell her I'm not. Just the next 5 years

I had 4 under 5.
The biggest thing we did was routine.
They all went to bed at 7. Then I had a bit of time without them every evening.

It gets easier as in not so constantly full on. The eldest turns 13 next week and I look back on those days of them being really little so fondly though definitely through rose tinted glasses!
Just as well Dh had the snip after the 4th...