Breastfeeding guilt

[Siobhan1989]

I’ve really struggled with breastfeeding since day 1. My baby is now 16 days. The first night home he fed all night and I was so overwhelmed/exhausted that the midwife said to give a small bit of formula and have some rest which is what I did. I then got help with my latch and continued to breastfeed and give small top ups with formula after he cleared my breasts. At day 5 - different midwife, told me off for formula basically and from then until day 10 I tried to exclusively breastfeed and pump every 3-4 hours (her advice). By day ten I was utterly shattered but saw a lovely midwife who said to continue to mix feed, if that works better - went back to that, got full blown mastitis and ended up quitting breastfeeding and just pumping tiny bits of milk off plus formula. I’m so upset and angry with myself for not being able to do it and it’s ruined my first few weeks with my baby. No questions just wondered if everyone had experienced similar issues? I feel very alone and deflated x

Do you still want to breastfeed? Check on Facebook to see if there’s a La Leche League group near you for some advice and support. If you don’t want to breastfeed now then stop feeling guilty. It’s really tough looking after a brand new human.

Breastfeeding is just such an emotive, charged subject, unless you feed exclusively for the exact right amount of time I think a lot of people do feel guilty. Or is that just me? I breastfed my daughter exclusively for 5 months then broke and switched to formula cold turkey. I feel guilty. Then with my son, I breastfed for 4 weeks, he was fab, then cluster feeding hit, I freaked it would be like my daughter and again switched to ff, I feel really guilty about that because feeding him was easy. Kids are 5 and 3 now, happy healthy, bright. I still feel guilty. I honestly think it's just one of those subjects. Sorry if that's not a help but at least you know you're not going loopy.

Oh lovely it’s so hard in the beginning. I gave up bf at 6 weeks with my first. At one point in the early weeks DD2 was having a bottle a day plus a few sips to get rid of her hangryness so she could calm down an latch. By 6 weeks was just breast feeding. Giving formula does not mean the end of breast feeding.

What do you want to do? Breast feed or formula feed? Neither is right or wrong.

How often are you bottle feeding and how often are you formula feeding?

I breastfed my DS (now 4) for 2 weeks. He was supplemented by formula for a lot of that time too. He had a terrible latch, my milk production was low, and it bloody hurt. After 2 weeks my DH encouraged me to stop as my mental health was really suffering, I was incredibly anxious about DS not getting enough and exhausted from him feeding all night long (but not actually getting much milk out).

For me, switching to formula changed everything - the fog lifted, DS was happier, which meant I was happier, we all got more rest. I did feel guilt (I was the only one in my NCT group not bfing, and my DM had bf me and my siblings so was very pro bfing) but it was absolutely the right decision for me.

However, I know lots of other mums who found things equally as difficult as me at the beginning, but bfing meant enough to them that they persevered - saw all the bfing counsellors, got tongue ties checked and snipped, pumped day and night to increase production etc. I think for most women it is possible to get there eventually with bfing if you are determined enough and willing to persevere - for me, it just wasn’t important enough to me but if it is to you, then the help is there. If it isn’t, then don’t feel bad about giving up.

My dd wouldn't latch on at all. I wanted to BF so badly but was made to feel a nuisance on the hospital as I was struggling. Tried pumping milk but it would take hours to gy enough for one feed. The guilt broke me and I went into massive depression. I've learnt to live with it now and I'm grateful that I was able to access formula.
Don't feel guilty, enjoy your baby, life is too short.

Be proud of yourself for giving it a go and for surviving the difficult first few days. You're doing brilliantly. If you want to move to formula now, you can - your lovely little one will be happy either way as long as they are being fed.

I was all for breastfeeding until I actually had to do it. Everytime my baby latched on I had tears rolling down my cheeks and felt so sad, i hated every second of it. I have no idea why I felt this way and It always makes me feel sad when I think back to breastfeeding.

My baby was combi fed for the first couple of weeks too after having been formula fed when he was in the nicu. I felt the same as you, I was miserable at having to give formula but also miserable at bf because it was so painful! I had a virtual meeting with a Lactation specialist who gave me some tips but also gave me some confidence that I was doing what I should be. I slowly weened him off the formula and he's been ebf for about 6 weeks now.

It sucks that you've had different midwives giving you different advice. Do you have a health visitor yet? I'd definitely recommend setting up a meeting with a specialist if you do want to keep bf.