Rejecting the child rather than the behaviour

[WinkyWinkola]

I'm constantly leaving the room away from DS telling him his behaviour is naughty and that mummy will play with him when he stops hitting, kicking, scratching, screaming and jumping on his baby sister.

I'm doing this a lot because he has tantrums and ragesa bout everything from getting out of the bath to having lunch to of course, bedtime.

He's 2½. How much longer does it go on? And will he get a rejection complex?

I really feel like I don't like him at all at the moment and I"m so relieved when he goes to nursery. Then I feel guilty. Even more guilty.

Any help or tips or advice would be appreciated.

I don't think he will think you are rejecting him. Some kids seem to go through stages when they are a bit unlikeable, my daughter does this, then one day will wake up right as rain and have changed a bit.

That behaviour will have gone altogether by the time he's 4 ime. Both my DSs went through this phase. You do have to deal with it carefully though (it sounds like you're doing the right things) or the behaviour can carry on much longer than this. My friend hardly disciplined hers at all and they're still like two-year-olds at the ages of 5 and 7.

I know what you mean about not liking the child at a certain time. You#re only human, with a lot on your plate with a toddler and a baby, so try not to let this feeling upset you. No need to guilt about it .

The thing is though, that he is learning to control you through his behaviour: if I jump on the baby, mummy will take her away from me/if I scratch mummy, she will get up and leave the room, and so on. You need to carry out this 'rejection' in a more controlling way, I think. He's probably still unsettled by the baby as well. Better to take him away from the activity, than to take yourself away from him.

Try saying "No. We don't scratch." in a quiet, firm, stern voice, and turn him to face the wall or place him away from the activity. Just for a minute or so, and, if possible, keep an eye on him subtly - perhaps using the reflection in a mirror or window. The most removing of yourself would be by you turning your back on him, rather than leaving. Then resume the activity as if nothing happened. If he does it again, repeat the consequence, but if he does it again then end the activity and, if you feel you need to, leave the room.

And repeat to yourself "This too will pass. This too will pass." while promising yourself a choc or a glass of wine!