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Original poster

Ex is dropping my son back here to quarantine after holiday

28 replies

barregirl1 · 31/07/2020 11:29

Just had a text from my Ds who went to Menorca with ex-h last Saturday- his dad is dropping him back on Sunday to quarantine with me !

I had a feeling this would be the case... but feeling slightly upset. I’ve checked the rules and thankfully I don’t have to quarantine too but... I’ve booked annual leave for one week’s time (it’s the only week I’ve got off and the only week I can take due to work deadlines. I’m desperately needing time out of the house having WFH since March and had Covid symptoms (untested) in the 2 weeks leading up to lockdown.

Advice on what to do please. Wanted to spend some quality time with kids going out - so now do I spend the week in quarantine with him - seems unfair to leave him at home (he’s 15) while his sister and I go out or do I go and enjoy days out with his sister?

OP posts:

SweepTheHalls · 31/07/2020 11:31

He needs to stay with his Dad and quarantine together!

Apolloanddaphne · 31/07/2020 11:32

Well he will have to quarantine somewhere is it makes no difference whether he is with you or not. You won't be able to take him with you anyway and at 15 he is old enough to look after himself.

watsitcheeto · 31/07/2020 11:35

Tell your Ex that he needs to quarantine with him.

If you've got a big enough house with him having his own bathroom and you delivering food to his bedroom door fine. He won't be able to use any communal spaces and it's pretty lonely just sitting in a room by himself. Why can't he stay with his dad who will also be quarantining?

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anothermansmother · 31/07/2020 11:39

As his dad will be quarantined too, he should stay with him. He took him in the holiday so he has to be with him, surely it would have been him staying with him if he had gotten ill whilst over there.
Just tell him, it's really unfair of his dad to expect you to have to basically keep ds in his room for 2 weeks when at his dads they would all be quarantined do he would have company.

missyB1 · 31/07/2020 11:39

eh? That's just not logical! Surely he should be quarantining with his dad? I hope your ex is actually going to quarantine.

FourPlasticRings · 31/07/2020 11:42

What's the excuse given for not quarantining with his dad?

mummyofgirls123 · 31/07/2020 11:53

He should be isolating with his dad.. Seek advice from your doctor and see what they advice but I'm pretty sure they'll say to isolate with the father

liklypaddy · 31/07/2020 11:55

Eh? But his dad will be quarantining too so why not just keep him home with him?

Tobebythesea · 31/07/2020 13:15

He should be with his dad as others have said. He will need to isolate as well.

Boomclaps · 31/07/2020 13:19

As above he needs to quarantine with dad

Deux · 31/07/2020 13:21

If he can’t quarantine with his dad, I’d get him tested ASAP perhaps. Do you have a drive through centre near you? They seem to be delivering on same day results.

MonteStory · 31/07/2020 13:25

Just tell him the truth and say ‘no that’s completely illogical he’ll be staying with you’ and don’t engage in any further conversation about it.

He’s evidently not planning on isolating but doesn’t want his son seeing his bad example

Vodkacranberryplease · 31/07/2020 13:29

CF. Can you make up an at risk person you need to be in contact with? Plus the risk to your health!!!!

Just say sorry but that's against the rules. I am going to be in contact with vulnerable people and it is not fair to put them and me at risk so I can't.

Vodkacranberryplease · 31/07/2020 13:31

@Deux I don't believe that the tests are valid until after the incubation period. If ds had exposure on the plane or in the last few days then a test wouldn't be accurate

Deux · 31/07/2020 13:37

@Vodkacranberryplease but he could have caught it on his holiday surely?

Original poster

barregirl1 · 03/08/2020 07:41

Thank you for all your replies.

His Dad is dropping him back today. (It’s a control thing - only control has had since i left him is whether he sees the kids / pays maintenance)

We did all have Covid in early March (untested) so partly reassured but also partly fearful of getting it again if the antibodies don’t work- I’m not fully recovered from the first bout and would not have chosen to travel with the kids currently

OP posts:

ineedaholidaynow · 03/08/2020 07:47

So where is the dad quarantining?

Ilikewinter · 03/08/2020 07:48

I would guess that his dad isnt going to isolate himself. Im afraid i would leave your son at home, he knew before going away that he would have to isolate and still chose to go so now he has to accept the isolation conditions.

Whatthebloodyell · 03/08/2020 07:48

If his father won’t have him then he’ll just have to put up with being bored at home! He’s 15, so perfectly capable of entertaining himself indoors while you and his sister go out elsewhere. I guess his sister didn’t go on the holiday with him, so he understands that they don’t get treated exactly the same anyway.

stayathomer · 03/08/2020 07:50

His dad needs to quarantining with him but (really sorry) but tbh if he is at yours I'd stay around the house as much as possible (am quarantining the last two days an DC it sucks, also I didnt realise how much you need help, people to put stuff outside the door etc so you can avoid common areas

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 03/08/2020 07:54

He is being ridiculous. He needs to keep the boy with him. He is a risk to your other children.

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 03/08/2020 07:56

Your ex sounds like an arse.

timeisnotaline · 03/08/2020 07:56

Is his dad close enough to drop him there every day?

Original poster

barregirl1 · 03/08/2020 18:49

Yep 😊

OP posts:

Original poster

barregirl1 · 03/08/2020 19:01

He texted this morning to say he was staying another day - I could get this for the next two weeks so that I can’t plan anything. Sort of how it goes.

We were going to catch up with my parents during the week that have been shielding but have cancelled in case he comes home before next week.

His sister doesn’t go to her dad’s - she recognised his behaviour a couple of years’ ago as emotional abuse. DS knows it’s not normal but still wants to think his dad is a hero, bless him. I help the kids emotionally and it’s about teaching them how to stay emotionally strong and understand that it’s not them (but without criticising their dad).

Other circumstances and I would just quarantine with him but DD and I need time out of the house (and I don’t mean that selfishly and if I hadn’t had it definitely would).

Ex-h remarried 5 years ago and he has two step children. He’s supposedly not working since lockdown (according to Child Maintenance Service) so struggling to understand why DS needs to come home to quarantine albeit know DS struggles to be there too long. (Ex-h lives 8 miles away so not far)

OP posts:

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