Failed breastfeeding first baby preg with no2

[Emma913]

Hi,

Did anybody fail to breastfeed their first but manage to successfully breastfeed baby no2? I'm worried I will feel guilty for DD1 if it works out this time?

Xx

Yes I did. First baby gave up at 9 days old it was too painful and neither of us were getting any sleep. Baby number 2 sheer bloody mindedness got us through it. He had tongue tie which in hindsight was what the main problem with DS1 was too but I exclusively breast fed him for 15 months! After 6 weeks it gets so much easier!!

Did you feel guilty about baby no 1 or am
I just being crazy hormonal 😅 x

@Libmama

I did. I struggled while recovering from a c section through tongue tie, undiagnosed allergy, spesis (me) caused low supply, thrush in baby’s mouth and my nipples, crap advice gave up at 6 weeks with DD1.DD2 has just turned 1 and I’m in bed feeding her. It wasn’t easy but it was much easier for me this time.

I would;

• join a local Facebook breast feeding support group now. The same questions come up time and time again.
• watch videos of the the flipple technique on YouTube
• find a private lactation consultant to have on stand by. They are cheaper than a year of formula.
• buy hydrogel packs for sore nipples
• buy lanishon hot/cool pack for sore boobs

I think what I am worried about is that what if I feel one child is at an advantage over the other? Only managed to give colostrum to first DD due to the lack of support which I am gutted about as it could have turned out ok

X

I did and I don't feel any guilt.
Dc1 I bf exclusively for about 2 weeks, combi fed for 2 months but gradually leaned more towards bottles. She wasn't interested in bf, took ages to latch and just screamed the whole time. She had jaundice and was very sleepy in the first couple of weeks which is when I was told to top up with bottles and she developed a preference. In hindsight and with better support we probably could have bf for longer but it is what it is and she's happy and healthy (still didn't sleep for 3 years 😂)

Dc2 has taken to bf like a dream even with a tongue tie. He was in scbu for a week and tube fed so I thought bf would fail again but as soon as we were allowed to try he latched on like a pro. 8 months now and still bfing, he will take the odd bottle if I'm not there but it's rare.

Both kids are happy and healthy, I look at it just like their other differences. I take their lead on most things and feeding is the same- dd preferred bottles and ds doesn't.

Mums are made to feel guilty no matter what we do, I choose to not apologise or feel guilt when I'm doing what's best because you just can't win!

Following.
Pregnant with number 2. Couldn’t feed dc1, tried for 8 miserable weeks but baby had tongue tie and I have pretty much inverted nipples. (One mw said (kindly) I didn’t have a hope in hell, which comforted me actually).

I was so traumatised by my emcs, spesis and ‘failure to breastfeed’ that I had to see a clinical psychologist. Even after my sessions I felt guilty. Breast feeding DD2 allowed myself to acknowledge how hard breast feeding is and that with all the other stuff going on and lack of support that I did my best and that’s all you can do.

If anything ff DD1 was a healthier baby than bf DD2.

I don't have experience but I wanted to say that my friend didn't breastfeed her first and although her second was great at breastfeeding she stopped after a week because she felt 'so guilty' for the first. Then 6 months on she was crying about letting them both down! It was awful.

Each baby is different. Please try to stay calm. Join a FB group and go along to a local La Leche League Group before baby comes (ASAP really) and they will really help things to go well next time and even if there are problems you'll have support to get through them.

Good luck! You can do this!

No I don’t feel any guilt towards DS1. It was what it was. DS1 is perfectly healthy and bright so I personally don’t feel formula did him any indifference. He’s happy and I still have my mental health that’s more important to me

@Libmama

I wish I could look at it this way, I have spoke to my GP about it and they have referred me for counselling so the way I am looking at it is obviously unhealthy. Most of my friends didn't breastfeed and they don't think twice about it. Some people would love to be in my position right now and I think that is what is getting to me because I really can't get it into perspective!

X