Tips for fussy toddler

[doadeer]

Hi I know this is probably a topic as old as time but appreciate any advice!

DS is 18 months, his eating seems to have hit an all time low. He never wants to eat any proper meals, all he wants is things like a cracker/oat cake, fruit, toast or porridge. Occasionally I get him to have some carrot or cucumber but it's mainly just what I would think of as snacks he eats.

I'm finding meal times such a chore. He used to be much more adventurous eating curries, noodles, pasta etc but now it's not the case.

When I put his bowl down he just looks so suspicious of me! He is already determined not to eat it as it isn't one of the few things he likes.

I'm not fussy at all, I eat a varied diet and I'm struggling to know what's best. If he doesn't eat the dinner/lunch do I just accept he hasn't eaten anything? Or do I give him an oat cake etc?

Help me!

My children go through fazes of this all the time. One time they’ll eat everything and anything, next week they’d eat almost nothing! I’d keep trying, keep offering the food. If he really doesn’t want to eat it, of course offer him something he will eat

We go through this a LOT. As PP said some weeks he is willing to try anything (except most vegetables which is a whole different saga) and some weeks he just won't. I still offer everything to him. I try and make sure there is at least one thing on there I know he will eat. So for example we had mash today and I know he can be funny with it so I made sure I did him a few potatoes roasted in the oven as well so he could eat that if nothing else (he did actually have some mash though!). I don't make a fuss at all. It's there if he wants it but either way he sits at the table until we are all finished. He doesn't have to eat if he doesn't want to. No pressure even though inside it's frustrating of course. Don't make it into a battle would be my advice!

It's such a common phase at this age, apparently it's supposed to protect them from accidentally eating poisonous berries etc. DS2 didn't get this memo. I had to take acorns, stones, rotten berries, a leaf, some harvested corn from a farm field (that had been in the road and run over) chunks of earth, that he was eating like a biscuit, and a beer bottle lid "weeties!" out of his mouth today and he is nearly two!

Anyway. Just keep offering plenty of different foods, try mixing up the way you present it as well - in a bowl fed by you, in a bowl to be self-fed, as separate chunks to eat with a fork or fingers, in some form to be "dipped", etc. You might find one method is a favourite. If it's too hot they also frequently don't feel like eating - stick to light foods like fruit, bread, crackers and plenty of water.

Offer a meal every 4 hours and a snack every couple of hours in between (which is just normal food - fruit/veg/crackers/cheese - not "snack foods" like crisps, chocolate etc) and try REALLY hard not to attach emotions to it, just offer it and if he doesn't want it, take it away - if you're worried about him he'll pick up on that as pressure and not want to eat. If you are feeling hurt/rejected he will pick up on that as pressure. If you're cajoling him to eat etc etc. You need to present (and try to genuinely believe) that it's OK for him to let you know if he's hungry or not, and trust him.

They really do not do themselves any harm, not unless they have quite severe sensory issues around food or a restricted diet or dietary related health issues. For a normal toddler refusing food is absolutely normal and OK.

It is also worth noting that their growth slows massively down at this age and they are generally walking (and running) which takes much less energy than crawling, so they don't actually need as many calories as they did when they were younger. This tends to alarm us as we assume bigger baby = bigger appetite but this isn't necessarily true :)

(Restricted diet = e.g. because of multiple allergies)

Thank you for the advice everyone! It's so tricky.

He doesn't have the hugest appetite if I give him snacks he won't eat his main meal at all. As I said... He won't eat proper meals anyway I just do a little picnic type thing with crackers, cheese, veg and fruit.

Hoping it's just a phase. He is definately only into "tried and tested" foods, the issue is it's such a short list. I have to think he is still getting lots of nutrients from milk, fruit etc.... I hope!

My daughter is similar. I have found variations on a theme a good way to get her to eat. E.g she really loves home made meat pie (basically stewing steak with veg cooked like a casserole then I put puff pastry lid on top at the end). The meat and veg are all really soft, which I think she likes. I vary what’s inside the pie to give her more range e.g chicken, lamb. Or I put dumplings on it or potatoes instead of pastry. Small tweaks to a familiar well-liked meal.

That's a good idea @Snowpaw but I can't get him to eat any proper food anymore. He used the love stuff like this. Now he only wants crackers and fruit 🙄

Do you think this is an OK tea?

I've really lost all confidence 😔

I think that's a good healthy, balanced dinner. Some people would love their children to eat that! How much milk is he having? My son was difficult to feed but realised he was having too much milk and wasn't hungry enough.

So far he has only eaten the crackers... Grrr

He has a bottle in the morning and before bed and a small amount watered down when he wakes up. He's rubbish at drinking water and it's 28 degrees in our flat at the moment so watered down milk is the only way to get fluids in!

How milk do you recommend?

I think we'd gone down to 1 bottle at night by then but he drank water in the day. Sorry, I wish I had the perfect answer for you!

Haha don't worry. Moral support is good too.

He actually ate almost everything in the bowl!!

I'll just keep trying!

It’s fine! At that age my nephew refused anything other than milk and sweets for a whole year! He’s a massive strapping 22 yr old now (well built, tall, fit and strong - not overweight!)

@Pachelbelle

It’s fine! At that age my nephew refused anything other than milk and sweets for a whole year! He’s a massive strapping 22 yr old now (well built, tall, fit and strong - not overweight!)

🤣🤣🤣🤣

My grandma keeps telling me her friends child only ate jelly for 3 years and she went on to have 4 children! She has told me this many times now hahaha

My toddler only eats beige food that is dry. Think dry cooked pasta, dry brown bread, dry weetabix. She's been like this for ages. The Dietitian said just to always offer other food with the beige. Make no comment, praise or otherwise. This is SLOWLY working, she occasionally licks a piece of fruit...the dogs and I eat a lot of her leftovers though... Best tip was make ice lolly's. I puree up fruit, veg and put in moulds in the freezer. Only way we get any real amount of fruit and veg into her.
Also, I'd say don't think it's your parenting or that you're doing something wrong. Like others have said, fussiness is normal at that age. And I have another toddler who will eat anything placed in front of him so I'm sure it's just how theyre made.

@Mylittlepony374 Thank you! That's very reassuring.

Good tip re the ice lollies. What veg do you put in? Do you make a smoothie then freeze?

[quote doadeer]@Mylittlepony374 Thank you! That's very reassuring.

Good tip re the ice lollies. What veg do you put in? Do you make a smoothie then freeze?[/quote]
Oh sorry you said you make a puree doh!

Courgette and Cauliflower seem to work best in ice lollies. I put them 1/4 to 3/4 fruit. Hides the taste ...