Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Toddler rejecting mum at night - please help!

7 replies

katkinlady · 01/10/2007 11:07

My daughter of 19 months has decided that she can't bear to be near me at night time. She wont let me put her to bed and if she cries in the night (she is teething so this happens very frequently) she gets hysterical if I go in to her. She cries, pushes me away and calls out "daddy daddy daddy" until I pass her over to him. As far as I know I have not done anything to cause this behaviour. I have never hit or hurt her, never lost my temper or done anything that would warrant such extreme behaviour from her. Is this a phase that children go through? Have I done something or not done something to bring this behaviour on? She is loving and happy in the day time, regularly asking for cuddles, etc so its even more confusing that she is so unhappy with me at night.

The only sign of her night time preference in the day time is that likes daddy to help her with her food. Only he can give her a yoghurt. If I try she will clamp her mouth firmly shut. I have researched mother child rejection but it all seems to be about depressed mothers rejecting their babies. This is definately not the case with us. I adore being a mum and treasure the time I have with my daughter. Can anyone help/advise me? I really want to be able to cuddle my little girl when she needs night time comfort again. My husband is great but its hard on him having to be the main carer all the time at night. I am also 5 months pregnant and really want this resolved or at least to understand it so I can help her before she has to cope with a new baby in the house. Worried, unhappy and very confused. Please help if you have any experience with this.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Riddo · 01/10/2007 11:15

My dd went through phases like this at a similar age. It's hurtful but they do get over it. I could never understand why - could never work out what I'd done. She didn't see a lot of her Daddy in the day as he was at work so I did wonder if she just missed him. She also had phases where only I would do.

Try not to worry or feel hurt - she will get over it.

katkinlady · 02/10/2007 08:19

Thanks for the encouragement Riddo! Oddly enough she slept through without any issues last night.

OP posts:
BecauseImWereWolfit · 02/10/2007 08:40

I have no experience of this, but I think I would suggest - for your own sanity! - that you give in and let dh deal with her during the night.

It sounds like quite controlling behaviour, although she is very little - but if you don't make an issue of it then it may well resolve itself of its own accord.

During the day, when dh isn't around, if she won't let you feed her a yoghurt then I would just take it away!

And as you're pregnant, just enjoy not having to get out of bed to her. Yes, it might be hard for him but otherwise it would be you!

I know it's very easy to say, but don't worry about this - babyhood (from memory - it was a long time ago!) is always a series of phases and things that they grow into and then grow out of.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

MamaGotaDyson · 02/10/2007 08:46

Katkin, my DD did the same thing

I was very hurt by it, but she grew out of it and we are as close as ever now (she's 8). I think its perfectly normal

heifer · 02/10/2007 08:55

my DD did the same and around the same age, I didn't understand it at all.

It did upset me, but didn't really believe it was anything personal..

The good thing for me is that DH still puts her to bed every night when he gets home from work!... and she is now 3.9

katkinlady · 02/10/2007 09:00

Thanks very much all! I feel much better knowing its not necessarily something I did/didn't do.

OP posts:
becaroo · 02/10/2007 18:54

my ds was like this at that age...now he is 4 and only wants me at night...dare I say it...."its a phase"

New posts on this thread. Refresh page