Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

14 year old DS - suspect Autism

1 reply

Lonelybutnice · 28/07/2020 09:27

Hello, just looking for some advice from others who may have been in a similar situation.

I have always thought my 14 year old DS has Autism in one way or another. He's always been academically brilliant but struggled to cope with simpler things like working out money/coins, finding his way around etc. amongst many, many other signs. However (perhaps stupidly) I didn't feel the need to see anybody about it, his teachers have never flagged it up, he had a little friend bubble in primary school who were protective over him and it just felt like we were dealing with it well.

Fast forward to his now teenage years and I feel very out of my depth. As he should be gaining more independence and responsibility, it's becoming more and more apparent that he struggles with basic things - any change to his normal routine, he buys the same three things at the shop when I have asked him to go to the shop, he walks the school bus route if he needs to go anywhere and won't be persuaded not to. He has always had obsessions and collections throughout his life but now he doesn't seem to realise that people don't want to always just talk about whatever he is currently obsessed with. I've tried to explain the art of conversation to him and how it's important he allows others to speak but it's seemingly lost on him.

I've completed a self referral form (as advised by our GP) and I'm waiting to hear from them.

I guess I'm just wondering if anybody has been in a similar situation. I feel like I've let him down.

Many thanks.

OP posts:
Random789 · 28/07/2020 09:41

I don't think it is 'stupid' of you not to have felt the need to see anybody about your son. From what you say, his possible autism wasn't a problem for him in the past and is only just now starting to be a source of possible difficulties.
I think that the first key question is whether your son seems distressed by any aspect of his possible autism. If he doesn't, then the best way forward may simply be to let your awareness of his possible autism inform the ways in which you interact with him and support him, and leave it at that.
A second key question is whether you think, realistically, that pursuing diagnosis or formal support would be helpful for him. I guess that is simply something to keep under review as he movs forward with all the new challenges that each stage of adolescence brings.
My son was eventually diagnosed with autism in early adulthood, after refusing to seek support and diagnosis before. I can't say that diagnosis helped him. It is very difficult to get support even in circumstances of extreme need.
So, provided that the people around him are able to respond appropriately to your son's way of being, it may be that there is little to be gained by formally framing that way of being as autism.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread