Coping alone - tips please!

[Whatelsecouldibecalled]

My husband is military. He’s due his first deployment of since we had our first baby. Baby will be 7 months old when he leaves in November and he is returning in Late January. Pre baby I just cracked on and was ok with it. We are a great parenting Team and besides the fact I’m gutted he will miss our baby’s first Christmas I am a little nervous about coping on my own without him. We share pretty much equally parenting duties and I’m going to miss him terribly. I do have a good family support network but just wanted some tips on day to day managing on my own? Is there anything I can do try and prepare whilst he is here? Batch cook a bit maybe?

Please tell me it will be ok!

I haven't been in your position before but I've friends with DHs in the army. Batch cooking is definitely a good idea. Also try look at how your day would run if your DH wasn't there and ask yourself how could you make it easier. Trail a day where your DH reduces his support just to see where the kinks are. My DH does long shifts away from home and I find I need to be super organised when he isn't home but I only really learnt what I needed to do after he was gone. E. G I've a bad back, I never realised how much DH did re:grabbing nappy supplies, lifting the baby etc until he was at work. I now make sure I have a well stocked basket of supplies beside the couch and bed, I also have double of some gadgets just so I'm not lugging things up and down stairs.
Do you have any family or friends that can give you some regular help?

Thanks. Yes I’ve got family that can support from time to time. He does 12hr shifts now a mixture of days and nights. So I do have long days on my own but I always know he will be back at some point. Also he doesn’t work weekends so he does Friday and Saturday night so I can catch up on sleep. I’m hoping by time November comes my LB might sleep a little better!

I found that by 7 months I was more into a routine and things were a bit easier in terms of sleep so you might find that it’s naturally a bit easier for that reason. I’d just try and be organised about looking after yourself; eat well and use naps as a time to chill out rather than rushing to get everything done in that time. Hopefully your family could have your baby every so often even for a couple of hours to give you a break. I’m not sure how easy it would be to phone your DH but if not do you have people you can phone late at night when you’re having a panic about something?

@user1493413286 yes good point. Depending on how things are we might be able to call but it’s not that reliable. My mum is very good so I reckon she would be able to talk me down in a flap 😂

I'm a single (by choice) parent but my baby is quite a lot smaller than yours (16 weeks) so I'm not sure how useful my tips would be!

One thing I definitely would recommend, in terms of food for yourself (and baby if they're into it, I guess) is to essentially instigate your own salad bar at home. I basically make one thing a day - for instance, yesterday I did a tomato and olive salad, today I'll be doing something crunchy with bits of peppers and radish and a sesame/soy/lime dressing, tomorrow I'm planning couscous - and then I can do myself a really interesting, varied and healthy plate of food every day but only have to spend like ten minutes on it per day. As one thing runs out, I make more/something new to replace it.

@Persipan my baby is currently the same age as yours. 16 weeks today! He will be 7 months ish when my DH has to leave.

If only I liked salad... I think a biscuit bar would be more up my street haha

Well, I promise you it's completely doable on your own!

I had my dad staying with me initially to help out, and what I found really helpful in preparing for him to leave was figuring out the logistics of key tasks - showering, cooking, even sweeping the floor! Once I had a plan and had proved to myself that I could do it, I was fine. So maybe as you get closer to the time, work out what bits seem like they might be awkward, and strategise around them. Consider also whether you need any extra items - a playpen, for example, will probably be invaluable if you don't already have one.