Putting baby in own room

[DemDem94]

Hi I’m new to mn though been a lurker for a month now.
Just wondering at what age would you recommend putting baby in his own room/nursery at night?
My ds is 19weeks old

@nixen can you show me the evidence that says this? Im just interested, not attacking you at all

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

First of all, fabulous name, I loved that thread

Here you go -
www.nytimes.com/2018/04/02/well/family/baby-sleep-sids-room-sharing.html

I think the only one who can decide that is your and your partner. I was happy to wait longer than 6 months. But recently my DD had been turning around in her next to be crib with her face close to the side, this made me worry more so we decided to move her to her cot. She was just over 5 months. Dd sleeps all night now too - i must have been waking her up because a turn a lot.

My DD is now 7 months and in her cot in her room for naps and night time sleeping, before that, she was in a next2me in our room overnight.

We started with afternoon naps in her room (with the monitor on) around 4.5 months and the plan was to keep her in our room until the end of this month! But the blind on our room doesn't block out all the sun and she was waking up at 4am, for the day! We started putting her down in her own room and she sleeps until 6/7am (blackout blinds and curtains!)

We don't sleep with bedroom doors open either, just the monitor on either my or DH's bedside table

@harrietm87 The study that they base this upon, puts sleeping in the same room at the bottom of the "reducing the risks" list. Much higher up is sleeping on back, not smoking, not bed sharing. MN is hilarious, if you point out that co-sleeping is riskier than having your baby in a separate room, that would cause uproar, but it is actually true, albeit on a teeny tiny percentage scale, because that is what we are looking at.

Thank you! I like researching into stuff and finding out all the different factors involved. Im doing the same with weaning 🙂

Its funny isnt it. For example, theres evidence that says dummies protect against SIDS but theres a fair few people on here that swear they'll never use them

5 months for both of mine. They are light sleepers and we just disturbed each other constantly, dd1 started waking every 40 minutes so we moved her out of desperation. We bought an angel care monitor which helped reassure me a bit but I was so worried she would stop breathing in her sleep.

If they had been better sleepers I would definitely have kept them til 6 months and possibly a bit longer.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene it was only because you said you had researched and couldn’t find anything on the reason for the guidelines - wasn’t clear whether you were aware of the lullaby trust guidance and had discounted it, or hadn’t found it in the first place. It also doesn’t go into any detail about the study in the link I posted, so if you’ve done more research into it then I’d be interested to know. It wasn’t meant to be an attack but actually a genuine question.

Also since I now see you have looked into the study and evaluated against others, would you mind sharing the others that contradicted it so I can do the same? I have always thought the lullaby trust was reliable so would be interesting if you’ve found stuff they don’t take into account @Letsallscreamatthesistene

My DD slept in her own room for the first time last night, and was asleep for 12 hours straight. This has never happened before. Hooooray!

I would say at least 6 months, there is a reason it's recommended; and its one of those things that if going against guidance and the worst happens, although it isn't your fault, that must be quite hard to live with. As for closing doors, it's actually recommended from a fire safety point of view to close doors, if you get a monitor it will work through the closed door.

Its funny isnt it. For example, theres evidence that says dummies protect against SIDS but theres a fair few people on here that swear they'll never use them

Actually no, that's not what the research says. The research says that if you start using a dummy, you shouldn't take it away until x months because that then increases the risk. If you don't use one in the first place then no change.

As for closing doors, it's actually recommended from a fire safety point of view to close doors, if you get a monitor it will work through the closed door.

Aware this is tangential to the OP’s question, but I always wonder about this. I close all other doors before I go to bed for fire spread, but I leave the bedroom doors ajar. My vague reasoning is that in a fire, the priority is that the DC and I can get together quickly and get out of the flat quickly; it’s not the same as a fire in the kitchen or living room or something which we’d like blocked off to minimise spread while we all get out. But I may be misguided and would like to know better, if there is strong guidance on this!

Re the OP’s question, I’m afraid my DC1 shared my room til at least 4, and DC2 is still in with me at 2, so am limited use... It was a gut feel about what was comfortable for us, rather than an evidence-based decision.

I close all other doors before I go to bed for fire spread, but I leave the bedroom doors ajar. My vague reasoning is that in a fire, the priority is that the DC and I can get together quickly and get out of the flat quickly
The big problem in a fire situation is smoke inhalation, which a closed door should protect against. The risk is of being overcome by smoke before even realising there's a fire - children, in particular, are unlikely to wake up for a smoke alarm so would be particularly at risk.

@harrietm87 it took ages and I looked at a load of studies, so im not willing to find them again and list them all here. Basically though, the theme that runs through all the studies is the factors surrounding SIDS seems to be multifactoral. I say factors deliberately because none of the studies could state a cause. Sleeping in the same room until 6 months old was never the leading factor in any of the studies, it was always sort of half way down the list. So, as terrible as SIDS is its instances are rare, and as sleeping in the same room was never thought to be the leading factor I think its a good assumption that SIDS caused by not sleeping in the same room is rarer. Therefore I was willing to not follow it. Dont get me wrong, I dont ignore all advice, just that bit of it.

Our DD stayed with us for 3 months, we started waking her up in the night with snoring or going to the bathroom etc and it was knackering her out so she went into her own room and she continued to sleep through the night

I'm usually a stickler for guidelines but we put our son in his own room at 8 weeks... it just worked for us.

I close all other doors before I go to bed for fire spread, but I leave the bedroom doors ajar. My vague reasoning is that in a fire, the priority is that the DC and I can get together quickly and get out of the flat quickly

I do see the logic in that, the guidance though is quite clear to close them, it can make a huge difference. Depending where you live, you should be able to get a free fire safety home check done where you can bring up your concerns etc, it is usually really useful.

Ours stayed in our room until she outgrew the next to me crib, but from five weeks had a couple of hours each evening sleeping alone in our bedroom. She started screaming hysterically in overtiredness unless we put her ‘to bed’ at about five weeks old. Just couldn’t sleep with even low lights/tv on, and was very upset about that fact.

Even now at 20mo she’s a very independent sleeper, and won’t ever, ever sleep in the same room as any kind of disturbance, unless in the car. I find it quite sad that I only get sleeping cuddles when she’s extremely ill.

Moral of the story is - maybe you’ll get a cuddly one if you keep them with you longer!

My oldest went into his room directly next to ours at 5.5 months
Youngest had a few problems from birth (several stays in hospital with jaundice etc) and I really struggled with leaving him alone so he was in our room until he grew out of/was sitting up in his Next to Me and I moved him into his cot as he was safer.

6 weeks with DS and 12 weeks with DD

Thanks @Persipan and @Staplemaple I’ll look into the fire safety home check thing too.

Ds was 9/10 months . Hubby had been working away from home up until 10 months so I felt better with ds in the bedroom with me. We moved house when ds was 10 months and he settled into his new room by himself pretty easily.

Dd 6 months. Would have kept her in our room longer but dh was studying for exams and couldn’t concentrate with the baby in the room with him.

After a year with each of them, was a mixture of worry about cot death and also so it was possible to easily settle them if they woke-the thought of walking into the next room was too much!!!