Newborn bedtime and routines

[MrsGEW1]

I have a 6 week old DS and he currently has no sleep pattern whatsoever. We put him to bed with us between 10 and 11, depending on when he feeds, but it's not certain he'll go down in his Moses basket straight away, he can put up some resistance even if he's fed, nappy changed and appearing sleepy. He's usually wakes for two or three feeds in the night, as he's only very little and can't yet take large feeds yet.
We're happy to cope with the night feeds but we're wondering if we can start a routine with him now to make going to bed a nice and pleasant experience, currently it's quite stressful for us all.
Are we able to put him to bed earlier than this, having done bath/feed/singing/cuddles, with a monitor and then join him upstairs a little later? I'm thinking that staying up with us with the telly and lights on is making it difficult to settle him once we go upstairs.
Any hints or tips on what to do?

You can do whatever works for you. Personally I started a routine about 12 weeks and that worked better as he has stopped night feeds by then.

12 week old here. He wakes 1-3 times overnight still, just depends on the night. So sometimes just a 3am waking, other times 1am, 4am, 6am...
But he does go to bed very quickly. The only thing we do is actually have a very quick bedtime 'routine' with very little to drag it on. No story, bath etc here. Baths are done earlier in evening or in morning.

Approx:
8.45pm - upstairs change nappy, quick wipe over, into clean long sleeve vest. Sleeping bag on.
9pm - into our bed and I feed him. just small dimmed bedside light on.

He either falls asleep feeding, or finishes and just looks sleepy and can be put into bedside crib awake. Just our hand on his chest to finally settle. Asleep by 9.30pm usually depending on how long he feeds for.

Baths etc drag routine out and he gets super excited in bath, so not doing that as part of routine to sleep.

I did started a routine at 8 weeks. Bath/bottle/bed with a moniter with us downstairs. Its worked well and I really believe saw us through the worst of a sleep regression. Hes 17 weeks now and still wakes anywhere between 1-3 times a night for feeds. He goes down to sleep so well each night.

I wouldn't be putting him to bed by himself for a little while yet, NHS guidelines say no solo sleeping til 6 months- we didn't last quite that long but 8wks is too small IMO.

If you want to start a "bedtime routine" then i would do it when you're ready to go to bed yourself. Have him downstairs with you while you finish your day, and then go up, do bath boob bed or whatever and all turn in at once.

What worked for us (DC2 - now 7 months), when our DC was 6 weeks was cluster feeding (so feeding approx hourly from about 6pm.) (Actually, from 4pm at 3 weeks hourly, then from 5pm at 4/5 weeks, and about 6pm from 6 weeks). They cannot take large feeds but the frequent feeds meant less up time at night for us. Absolutely no bedtime routine, just letting the child chill with us until about 10 pm. then all up to bed together.

We introduce bed time routines around 7 month mark. (Child can be on their their own from 6 months according to the NHS guidance and NCT), with a bed time routine in their own room. For me, it makes sense to start a bed time routine that could be kept the same which couldn't occur in my room.

Also, what are you feeding? Breastmilk? If so, consider having an oatmeal flapjack or avocado in the evening (around 4pm) I think this may make your milk more filling (and some say more soothing)

Personally I think it's a bit early. You're still in survival mode and the baby probably doesn't have night and day worked out yet. Closer to 12 weeks might be a better time to think about it. You will see a lot of changes from now until then so things will improve naturally anyway.

Obviously this is only my opinion - you do what works for you.

He's doing perfectly normal behaviour for a 6 week old baby - you might find that trying to get a routine at this early stage is causing more stress than just doing with it.

We would quite often go upstairs and watch something on the laptop while DD snoozed and fed - lights and sound on low. By about 3/4 months she was wanting to go off to bed earlier and we've had a routine since then. Agree with PP re checking SIDS guidelines - they should be with an adult for sleep until 6 months - mine went into her own room a bit earlier than that but I wouldn't have left her at 6 weeks and I'm a pretty relaxed parent.

Thanks for all your replies, we'll keep him with us down stairs until our bed time, based on the guidelines!

Oh yes, our 'sleep by 9.30pm' is with Dh and I also heading up to bed then. We settle him, then get ready for bed and read for a bit in bed next to baby. Means we are also getting enough rest even if he wakes several times overnight.