9 year won't engage

[HollyBen]

My 9 year old woke up with wet pj shorts this morning. Says it hasn't happened before. Decided the best thing to do was go downstairs and sit on the sofa. When she got up to have breakfast I noticed a wet mark on the sofa and asked if she'd spilt anything. She said no. Noticed the smell, askedif her shorts were wet. Only then did she say yes. Followed by if it happened at night I can't help it. I told her I was not upset/annoyed at the shorts being wet but that she didn't get changed and just went and sat on the sofa. I have tried several times to talk to her about it but she refuses to engage. I could do with some advice on how to get her to talk. My husband is away overnight. I imagine it will turn into them arguing about it when he gets home. Please help.

Your daughter is probably very embarrassed, speaking from experience. I would just let her know that you are not angry and that it is not a big deal abd leave it at that. What is it you want to achieve by getting her to talk about it?

If it hasn’t happened before maybe she didn’t know what to do and hoped it would just dry before anyone noticed? Did you have a lot of fluids yesterday or could she have a uti? I have had children her age wet themselves in class and not be aware of it so she is not alone. Poor thing

And why is your husband going to be cross about it?

She’s probably embarrassed.

I’d leave a spare pair of pyjama bottoms and a towel in her room, and just say,” if it happens again, get changed, you’ll be more comfortable.” and leave it at that. No need to tell her df unless it becomes a regular problem needing a GP.