Is a 3 to 4 year age gap too big?

[SMarie123]

I would like another child. Is a 3 to 4 year age group too large? Dc1 and dc2 are 15 months apart and will do everything at the same time. Will
A child 3-4 years younger feel left out and lonely in comparison?

Being pregnant while taking care of a child who was older and more independent was easier than my pregnancies with a young toddler.
By 4 years old, firstborns are a bit more mature — which means they may be less likely to feel threatened, jealous or insecure. And since physical aggression is worst between the ages of 2 and 4, your older sib will probably be gentler with the baby, too.
Your older dc will be independent enough not to need your constant attention — which means they might be able to help you in caring for the baby. And they may help in more subtle ways, too (for example, your younger child could pick up talking, reading and even potty training from her older siblings).
If the birth involves a hospital stay, your older children are likely to cope better with beingseparated from you.
You’ll have plenty of time with your baby whilst your older child is at school.
When I was a child, I loved having a sister 4 years younger. I liked that she was old enough to play with, but young enough that we weren’t going through the same phases at the same time. We each had our own space.

Too big a gap for who? Do you mean for the children to get on well and play together? I don’t think any age gap can guarantee that. The sibling sets I know who are the closest friends, particularly as older teens and adults, all have a larger age gap (6 years for one set and 5 for the other). I am 18 months older than one of my sisters and we really don’t get on and didn’t get on as as children either; I’m 3.5 years older than the other sister and we get on really well and always have. There are no guarantees so I’d suggest doing what works best for the family as a whole (from a financial, housing, work and general stress and lifestyle perspective) rather than aiming to achieve a specific sibling dynamic through a particular age gap.

I think it's the perfect age gap but I'm biased because that's roughly the gap between me and my younger brother. We got on well most of the time as kids and are close as adults too

I think any age gap has its positives and negatives. I’ve got a 4 year old and a 12 week old. It’s good in some ways as my eldest is independent, and can do most things for himself. But he’s had 4 years of our undivided attention and that is the thing we are struggling with most. I am breastfeeding and my baby is very demanding, won’t nap in the day and constantly feeds. So I don’t have a lot of time to spend one on one with my eldest anymore. He finds this very frustrating and it upsets me. He will be going to school in September and I think it will actually do him the world of good and am hoping things will settle down by then. It all depends on what personalities your children have but it will work whatever gap you have.

All age gaps have pros and cons.

My dc1 and 2 are close in age and then dc3 was born 3.5 years later and i have found the bigger gap absolutely fine. The older two were a bit more independent and old enough to help by grabbing a nappy if needed and they also really enjoyed their new sibling.

Youngest is 4 now and the three of them get along together well and beg to share a bedroom,

I have a sister 3.5 years younger, we don't get on.

I have another 7 years younger and we do.

I'm pregnant and DS will be 4.2 when this baby is born. Hoping for the best :)

My brothers and I had a similar age gap! I'm oldest, then my first brother is 17 months younger, then srci d for her is 5 years younger. It was fine.

Thanks all, my youngest sister is almost 4 years younger then her closest sibling and she was always trying to be ahead of her time and never really satisfied. I thought it was the big gap but maybe it was just how she existed in it. I was hoping to have had my third by now but fate didn't work that way for us x

We have a 3.5yr age gap and they get on great and love playing together. As others said the older one was a bit more independent by the time youngest arrived and so was able to help out and loved being the big brother.