Best way to parent a unkind child?

[Anywayoutx]

My 5 year old has literally turned into a monster during this lockdown. She is acting how she use to when she was 2-3. Shouting all the time, being mean and horrible to me dh and dd2 who is younger. Demanding things, saying we’re stupid. She says things for a reaction, she doesn’t srop when I say the consequences or how it makes people feel.. she laughs instead... she has changed and it’s really upsetting me. I don’t know what to do. It’s full on as I also have a baby but she still gets more attention than dd2

But does she get enough attention? Does she get enough exercise outside? Is c she mentally stimulated enough? Do you follow through on consequences?

So many questions...

She definitely doesn’t get as much as the holidays before baby was born. We go out every day, whether it’s a class like sports, play dates, bike ride or just going to the park or sainsburys.
I don’t follow through with consequences to be fair, she goes mad and I just think oh my gosh here have it have what you want just so you stop shouting

There you go then. Consequences 100% of the time for a couple of weeks. I could find a corner to stick them in anywhere. Even the toy shop. It lasted a couple of weeks and that was the end of it. Now at 14DD2 could use the same treatment

If it's started during lockdown it could be a response to the what's going on right now, missing school, friends, picking up on worries about coronavirus. I've heard of a few kids who have regressed in one way or another.

Do follow through with consequences even if harder at the time.

Have you talked to her one on one to ask her about her life just now?

But agree - follow through on consequences, every time. It doesn't have to be anything too harsh, but follow through.

And likewise, lots of rewards for being good - something she can share with her sister.

she goes mad and I just think oh my gosh here have it have what you want just so you stop shouting

Sounds obvious but maybe reverse that and try giving her what she wants once she has stopped shouting?

Have you considered she might be v bright and is feeling frustrated? It must be difficult with the younger one, but would it be possible to ring-fence some "special" one on one time with her once a day in which you do an activity together? Crafts or a trip out or just reading a story or some sort of imaginative play? But she gets to choose (within reason)? And it's at a predictable time so she can rely on it

Also, when my dd had her "feisty" episodes it was often a clue that she had moved on developmentally and could handle more independence or "responsibility " than we were giving her. Its surprising what five year olds can be trusted to do (supervised surreptitiously).