This is mostly just a moan, I'm becoming so frustrated with it all.
Ex has moved in, a while ago, with his girlfriend. 8yo DD will day-visit, but will not stay over. She has tried but she hates that the only loo is their en-suite and she doesn't want to walk through their bedroom at night to use the loo. I understand that. The cms will not take this into consideration in their assessment and still consider that he has shared care, so he is still paying maintenance for 6/7ths, not for a full week. That's beside the point of this I guess, I just referenced it to demonstrate how it's all building up.
He works part time as a HGV driver (2 days a week). Even without his £15 a week maintenance, I am financially OK. My issue is the time he has her; it is a one day visit at the weekend. Occasionally, like once a month, he asks to have her for 2 hours in the day during the week. I work from home, so the temptation of an undisturbed time in an empty house is great, but ultimately I think "2 hours you tight sod, what's the point!" DD is starting to feel rejected by her dad, she knows he could have her longer but doesn't choose to. It's me who has to wipe the tears when she comes back after 2 hours and wanted to stay for longer but he said no. FYI: he starts work at 6am, so he'll have to be off work the whole day in order to ask to see her from 11-1, it's not that he's squeezing her in between jobs, that just doesn't happen.
AIBU for saying to him that he can only have her in the day if it's a full day? I want her to spend time with him, but equally, I want her to feel wanted and not an afterthought. A year ago, he told me he has no legal obligation to look after DD after school or in the hols; suffice to say, I have managed all school hols and the current lockdown solo and thankfully I can work from home.
I feel so sorry for her, she is feeling very rejected by her dad, she tell me she loves him as he is her dad, but doesn't understand why he doesn't want her longer. Also, I've asked him why he can't have her longer: I never get an answer. He just tells DD that he is busy.