Pregnant with unplanned third and so unhappy please help

[munchymoo]

We have 2 DS, age 4.5 and 9 months, just found out I’m pregnant. A third wasn’t out of the question but now I’m pregnant I just don’t want to be here.

I love our family and our boys. I am an only child and an introvert and I find chaos and noise tricky albeit I deal with it fine with my 2 boys. I want to, and love, spending quality time with each child, reading one on one etc, and I feel that with there there is no way I’d be able to do that. Esp with the age gap, I’d have a 3.9 year gap between 1&2 and an 18 month gap between 2&3. I feel that my oldest wouldn’t get a look in or any of my time as I’d be run ragged looking afher the 2 younger ones and especially at my age (I’d be 41) it’ll be challenging. I hate the idea that none of the children will get enough quality time with me.

I don’t like the idea of it and I just don’t want to be here. But I’m so scared of terminating (please no judgement) as I’m scared of regret and what ifs. But I don’t think my personality and values fit with parenting more than 2 children. I feel so awful.

I’m in such mental hell. Please help me.
I don’t know what to do.

Op how far are you and is dad in the picture, in the know?

There isn't a right or wrong answer just what is right for you and your family.

I’m 40 and DH is very supportive of any decision we make x

And I’m 6 weeks...

So still toem to take some time to make a decision.

If you woke up tomorrow and it was a false positive how would you feel? Or if you had a loss? So basically of the pregnancy ended without you having to take action? I think that answer goes a long way to you knowing what to do.

As for taking the decision, no one can promise you won't regret it either way. But if you make the decision that's best for you and the family if those things can be aligned, then you'd have made the right choice.
Perhaps wrote yourself a kind letter stating why you're doing what you're doing so you can look back on it in years to coem if you come to doubt your choice, whether you're kissing a third child or covered in 3 lots of poo xx

I had a termination last year in similar circumstances.

It wasn't pleasant but it was for the best and I have no regrets.

I got fantastic support from the clinic and the nurse was so lovely and understanding!

I thought about my two children I had already and considered the impact on them, on me and my body (I had been either pregnant or breastfeeding for 4 years) and on my marriage (already wobbly).

Op only you can decide what is the right decision for you.

Sending 💐

Only you will know when you're ready or even want a third , but bare in mind if you definitely want a no.3 in the future in say another 2/3 years the chances of conceiving and carrying a baby to term reduce as we age.

You haven’t listed any pros to keeping this baby. It sounds like in your heart of hearts you would be happier sticking with two - there’s no reason to feel bad about that. If you lost the pregnancy naturally tomorrow would you feel happy or sad?

for you OP. Don’t make any rash decisions, it’s early days, so you have options. Give yourself time to think. Good luck with whatever decision you make.