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3yo dinnertime - help!

9 replies

BingBon · 21/07/2020 06:09

I'm at my absolute wits end with my 3 year olds eating habits.
I'll preface by saying I have an 11 week old and severe PND and OCD so I've been shit recently and I know this is my own fault so I don't need telling off.
Her eating has become so restricted since lockdown and no nursery. There were issues with food availability and then I had a baby and got really unwell and so we were really lax with it and now basically she will only eat either spaghetti hoops or beans on toast, chips, mashed potato, or pasta. If I give her anything else we have a huge tantrum and I can't cope. She's just gone back to nursery and eats fine there, a good variety of things, but at home it's awful and I'm failing her.
Please can I have some advice and some suggestions for meals I can give her that she might actually eat? We are veggie.

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user1493413286 · 21/07/2020 06:18

Could you give her one of those things with something else and negotiate her eating a little bit of the other thing alongside some pasta? That’s what I often end up doing with my 3 year old then if she eats a bit when I’m not looking I make it into a game pretending that I don’t know where it’s gone which she finds funny and then will eat some more.
Also don’t feel bad, I’ve got a nearly 5 month old baby and my DDs meals went a bit all over the place in the first couple of months as I’d get to 4.30 and suddenly think oh no what to give her and my baby would often be fussy at the time. I’ve only just got back on track and I’m also thinking that when I wean the baby my DD might be interested in trying new foods as she’ll see the baby having it and want some.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 21/07/2020 07:22

Can you mash something into the mashed potato so maybe she wont notice? Like a bit of carrot or swede or something? Not a load so its obviously different

AltheaVestr1t · 21/07/2020 07:27

What about the rest of the day? Will she eat bananas, apples, raisins etc? If so, just don't worry about it. Serve her a portion of whatever you are eating, along with one thing she definitely will eat, and just don't mention it. I really struggled with my DDs eating when she was small, until someone told me to write a list of everything she ate during a normal day. Turns out she was doing fine, eating a good range of food, just in small nibbles throughout the day rather than at mealtimes.

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Greaterthanthesumoftheparts · 21/07/2020 07:30

Since you’re not feeling great, and particularly since she eats well at nursery, can you just leave it for now? If she’s getting a variety at nursery a bit of repetitiveness in the evenings and at weekends won’t hurt.

Rebelwithallthecause · 21/07/2020 07:34

Your 3 year old seems to have a similar dinner repertoire to mine

I also have a 9 week old and been very lax with dinners

Some nights it’s just a few slices of toast or crumpets, others spaghetti hoops, others some pasta, and the rest of the time it’s nuggets or fish fingers.

To be honest, I’m happy with that. It’s effectively 5 different meals and it won’t be like this forever.

I need to do whatever takes the pressure off right now and I’m not going to be harder on myself than necessary

HeyMicky · 21/07/2020 07:35

I would serve up whatever you want to serve, but include one of her safe foods each meal.

No bargaining, no negotiation, no "just one bite". Twenty minutes, then remove. No drama.

Serve dessert/yoghurt/fruit) if you were going to anyway (not every meal ideally) but don't make it conditional on eating her main.

Model eating the food with her.

Have a meal and snack schedule; try to get some protein and good fats into her snacks. No eating outside those times.

That's it. Remove all the pressure from you and her and give it a few weeks.

1000mangoesinabirthdaycake · 21/07/2020 08:45

I'd start by not blaming yourself. 3 year olds go through phases like this, it's natural. She'll come out the other side. Like other people have said, I'd give her a safe food along with something she's not been eating and not worry about whether she eats it.

Hufflepuff21 · 21/07/2020 09:56

My 3yo is the same although no mashed potato! I also have a 5mo and I'm hoping he'll improve when we start weaning his brother (big boy showing his brother how to eat sort of thing). However, the way I'm approaching is just to ignore, keep offering other things alongside pasta and having faith he'll start eating eventually!!! Be kind to yourself. This is a hard time.

CarrotPuff · 21/07/2020 10:54

It's all about power struggle. You give her power every time there's even a hint that you care what/how much she's eating. You need to take this away by not caring if she eats or not. Even if you're dying inside that she's not eating. Yes, it's hard, but it definitely works.

Your job is to provide food. Her job is to either eat it or not. Just serve her what you normally would. Unless she has any medical needs, SEN or is under dietician, she won't starve herself.

She might reject a few meals, but once she realises it's pointless, she'll start eating. "This is what we're having today, you don't have to eat it if you don't like it, but there's nothing else".

If she throws a tantrum, remove her from the table and tell her she can come back once she's able to behave.

Don't cajole, threaten, or bribe with pudding, don't praise if she's eating. Chat about your day, or plans ahead, or whatever.

I found a good way to get them to try new foods is put all food out on the table in serving bowls so that they can help themselves to what they like the look of. It gives them a feeling that they are the ones in control.

I would really recommend "Getting Little Blighters to Eat" book if you want to read more on the topic.

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