Routine for 3 month old - at a loss

[newmum234]

My baby is almost 3 months. At the moment he is quite alert in the evenings and tends to drop off to sleep at around 10.30pm, when me and DH go to bed. He’ll then sleep through until about 5am, when we’ll FF him - and then he tends to fall asleep again until about 8am.

What I’m wondering is how to get him to sleep in the evenings - do we need to start some sort of bedtime routine with him now and should he be sleeping in his cot from 7 or 8pm onwards at this age?

Also, when he does fall asleep at 10.30, I have to spend quite a long time shushing him in his cot until he falls asleep - is that normal?

Any tips would be v welcome...

I just can’t see how we’re ever going to crack the evenings basically... he’s just too alert!

Omg I could have written this! Except in that window between 7-8pm and 10:30pm my baby isn’t ‘alert’ as such, she’s clearly tired but for some reason won’t sleep! So following with interest to see what others suggest...

Personally if I were getting sleep from 10.30-5 then again til 8 I wouldn’t rock the boat for now! That’s almost better than my 17 month old 😂

I think to crack this you'll have to sort out daytime naps and let him get sleepy by the end of the day. Do you have a bedtime routine? What are his day naps like?

For example, I have a 4 month old and we start bath/bottle/bed at about 5.30ish. He's usually down by 6.3p/7. I also dont let him nap after 5pm and his last bottle is no later than 2.30pm.

I know its controversial and others dont agree with this, but my baby has been in his own cot in his own room since 2 months old. I strongly feel that this has helped with night sleep.

Your baby is still very small and they change very quickly at that age. We didn't get our evenings back until about 4-5 months when she naturally started falling asleep earlier. You get nearly a full night sleep, so you might need to adjust your expectations.

In the nicest possible way, you seem very anxious in your posts (I'm not the thread police, honestly!). Are you getting any support in real life? Family or HV? I suffered terrible PND early on, so I understand what it's like to feel overwhelmed.

Sorry if I've overstepped the mark here.

We were on similar timings at three months. By about 5 months, DS clearly needed to go to bed earlier and he pretty much brought his own bedtime forward to around 8.30 (when we had tried this before, it hadn't worked at all). When we moved from three naps a day to two, he then also brought his own bedtime forward to around 7ish.

I should also say that my son doesnt sleep through though like yours. He'll wake once for a feed at 1am-ish then be up at 6am-ish. He does go down for the night well. So in terms of unbroken sleep, your LO is better!

Actually, thinking about it, our LOs are probably getting the same amount of hours sleep but yours just seems to be a bit later.

Also, your baby needs to be sleeping in the same room that you're in for now. For us, it was an advantage that DS didn't want to sleep until later as we didn't have to faff around with sitting in a darkened room all evening while he slept.

Thanks - sounds like I might need to just wait another month or two then and it’ll hopefully happen naturally. I only posted as I read that babies start to be more habit forming after 3 months, so didn’t want to miss the boat!

In the nicest possible way, you seem very anxious in your posts (I'm not the thread police, honestly!).

I’m honestly fine, though starting to feel a bit paranoid as I’ve had this said to me a couple of times on MN now!

I’m just a FTM who has no idea what she’s doing and finds this site a massive support (and a font of all knowledge). Thanks for your concern though x

Paranoid about what?

In my experience this is completely normal and babies tend to move their bedtime earlier naturally from now to about 6 months. I wouldn’t do anything at all as it sounds like his sleep is actually great for his age. There’s also often a sleep regression at around 4 months so maybe see how that goes before trying to change anything, and enjoy what you have for now!

I would start a routine that he knows (so bath, light being dimmed etc) before he goes to sleep at 10.30pm, and then once he's used to this, move this routine to earlier in the evening gradually over the course of a couple of weeks.

Not going to lie, I would love that with my four month old!

As it stands she normally goes to sleep around 7pm then wakes up between 2-3am for a night feed, then back to sleep until 6:30am-7:30am.

I would totally take a night feed at 9/10pm to sleep through to half 5... But then I realise that's my desire for sleep talking, not what my baby wants to do!

@ItsReallyOnlyMe

I would start a routine that he knows (so bath, light being dimmed etc) before he goes to sleep at 10.30pm, and then once he's used to this, move this routine to earlier in the evening gradually over the course of a couple of weeks.

I would agree with this. If you can introduce a bedtime routine now it will make things easier in the long run. What time is his last nap of the day if he goes to bed at 10.30? Could you make that nap into bedtime?

I'm a first time mum and I find every parent does things differently some parents stress and try to put their baby in a routine, in my personal experience we just totally wing it, she eats when she's hungry and she sleeps when she's tired, she's naturally put herself into a routine, she's 6 months next week and sleeps 10-7 which in my opinion is amazing, as of next week when shes 6 months we will try the bath bottle book etc starting at half 6 and see how she gets on, for me it's worked letting her lead the way, however I know all babies and parents are different there is no right or wrong way, juat go with what you feel is right and what your baby seems to respond to, your doing a great job xx

Hi. The blissful baby expert is really good, she is on social media and has a book. I've found her routines really helpful.

As it stands she normally goes to sleep around 7pm then wakes up between 2-3am for a night feed, then back to sleep until 6:30am-7:30am.

That sounds good to me @Alarae

@ItsReallyOnlyMe that’s great advice, thanks.

What time is his last nap of the day if he goes to bed at 10.30? Could you make that nap into bedtime?

@FrugiFan that’s the thing - it completely varies every day! So now he’s asleep in the sling, but yesterday he was really active and awake until about 10pm (when I took him upstairs and shushed him to sleep).