TV/screentime for 21 month old- no judgement just advice needed!

[Anewmum2018]

Not a judgey TV or no TV type thread - I'd just like to find out what other parents do...

My 21 month old has, over lockdown, got REALLY into the TV - we started in March with him being pretty uninterested and just wandering off after 5 minutes so it was never a problem. But as the weeks have gone by, he's started concentrating on it loads more and now, accidentally, we've fallen into a pattern of hanging out on the sofa watching TV for at least a couple of hours in the morning and agian in the evening. To be honest, on his nursery days, we don't really do much else than watch TV together.

It's got to the stage where i want to change this - i don't think TV is inherently bad, but I don't want it to become all we do, and I also think that at the moment he has no clear rules - so TV is his default activity.

So I just wanted to know what other parents do really at this age - do you have strict limits and how to you enforce them?

I struggle particularly at the beginning/ end of the day when either I'm tired or he is. Plus, at the age he is now, 'playing' basically consists of him chucking his toys around for 5 minutes and then getting bored and moving onto the next thing - which is more often than not sitting in front of the TV!

Any advice on how to break this cycle would be much appreciated! Maybe i just need to go cold turkey?

My DD has just turned 2 and pre-lockdown would barely watch telly for more than 5 mins at a time but over the weeks of being stuck at home with nothing to do she got into it a lot. She has been at nursery 2-3 days a week throughout so would only watch maybe 1 hr on those days but on the other days she could easily watch say 4hrs of telly. Me and DH both hated it but she has a short attention span with toys and things. Pre-lockdown we didn't spend much time at home so we didn't watch much telly with her - we would mostly be at home for eating and sleeping, we would take her out and about all the time!

I try not to best myself up about it as it was an unprecedented time (still is!) and we do what we need to to get by.

FWIW I was another telly addict when little with advanced verbal skills (which went on to be advanced literacy skills). My DD I think is about average in her verbal skills. She has a dummy too!

Now that restrictions are being relaxed she is reducing the amount of TV she watches a bit as we are getting out more (parks/playgrounds, visiting friends' and relatives houses essentially, probably take her to the museum sometime soon too). If you have a car it's much easier as things like zoos, theme parks, beaches and safari parks are open but we don't have a car so still very limited.

We had the same problem and tv was the first thing she asked for in the morning. I’ve just bought an audio player called yoto play and when she asks for tv I offer her that instead. You buy cards with books, nursery rhymes or music on them (or you make your own). It’s simple to use and the kids are in charge of what they listen to, my almost two year old quickly figured out how to use it and loves the nursery rhyme card she is already singing along and is rarely asking for the tv!

My 2.5 year old watched WAY more tv in lockdown than usual. Now trying to claw it back to our pre-lockdown pattern.

Generally he can watch a bit of tv after his dinner. It used to only be 20-30 minutes, but his bedtime has recently pushed later so it sometimes creeps up to an hour.

On weekends or rainy afternoons, he might get the odd movie. But generally I try to keep his tv time only to after dinner and for around 30 mins, with 1 hour being the maximum rather than the norm.

We had a lot of tantrum readjusting, but now he understands when in the day tv comes, he’s taking the “not now, but you can watch some tv after dinner” a lot better since it’s been applied consistently.

If there’s time to fill between nursery and dinner/tv, we usually do books, puzzles or free play (he loves his wooden train set).

Just to add, we’ve had to be relatively strict about screens with our child because he is the type to just stop and stare for ages. Having it on in the background isn’t an option. It doesn’t matter how utterly dull the programme is, he will stop what he’s doing and watch it. So we only have it turned on around him when it’s officially his tv time. Consistency has been key to minimising meltdowns around tv going off, plus ample warning (5 more minutes/last episode) and recently he likes to turn the tv off himself.