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How can I offer help without making her feel she's not coping?

3 replies

howtohelp1 · 28/09/2007 15:26

One of the girls in my dd's class lives on the same street as me. She's just started reception and her mum has two other children, one nearly 3 and the other about 5 months. I've got to know her fairly well in passing, in the park etc and now at the school gates. Thing is, she seems to be really struggling with the three children, especially the two older ones who both have huge tantrums, even the 5 year old who I witnessed lying in the middle of the road the other day.

But the mum seems really reluctant to accept any help. I've offered to take the eldest home to play, but she's never let her go with anyone before so is very reluctant. She has been round here with her, but that's not really giving her a break or helping in any way is it?

Her dh works all over the country so generally isn't home till either very late or not at all.

She just seems so sad all the time and I don't know what, if anything, I can do to help her.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
admylin · 28/09/2007 15:44

I would maybe try to invite her round a few more times for coffee and for the kids to play then she might get to know you better.

mmelody · 28/09/2007 16:01

I would just keep chatting and offering. You sound lovely

bubblagirl · 28/09/2007 16:01

i agree she probably is wary of making friends maybe invite them round for tea and jsut talk with her maybe say how hard you find it at times and how well she does being on her own she may confide in you and maybe open the gates for a good friendship

but its great you are concerned for her' her kids probably play on the fact daddy isn't there and it is hard my dp works away and you get so tired and as she has baasicly 2 babies as well she must be at the end of her tether maybe see if her family could babysit one night and maybe go for a drink

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