Toddler struggling returning to nursery

[PapercraftNinja]

She’s nearly 3, and went for a over a year pre lockdown.

In the morning as soon as she knows she’s going back to nursery she screams and cries until she is red and gagging it’s awful.

She got to love it before lockdown and there was no fuss at all on drop off but now for the last 2 weeks (this is the third) it’s been awful in the morning. I’m distracted at work wondering if I’m doing any damage by sending her making her this upset?

The nursery send photos where she looks engaged in an activity but not smiling or anything, even though they say she’s fine.

Has anyone got any advice or experiencing this themselves?

What was she like when she first started and how long did settling in take then?

My little boy took about 2 full weeks to settle back in to nursery after lockdown and was very distressed on going in. It felt horrible but the nursery insisted he calmed down quickly and engaged well in everything. In the last three weeks he has been fine. I have noticed he is much happier overall since he went back and since he has been more settled.

I hope you have a similar experience and your little one settles soon.

How did she settle first time? My DD has been back in preschool for a few weeks (finished for summer now) and hasn’t been happy in the mornings. Teacher insists she’s fine when she’s there, but she used to look forward to it. There are a lot of changes in how much they can see other kids, what they are able to play with etc - my DD was incredibly sad that the dressing up box had been put away as otherwise they would have had to wash it all every time.

Are you allowed/able to do a gentle settling in? E.g. some short days to start with to help her resettle?

I really feel for you OP - this must be so hard. I was very worried about this with DS and for us personally it hasn't been as bad as I feared but his nursery said nearly all the children have had some trouble adjusting, and that it didn't seem at all related to how long they'd been going before/how settled they had been before. They also said that the 3 and 4 year olds had struggled the most, partially because they had enough awareness that many of them knew that mummy, daddy and siblings were still at home. So I don't think you're alone by any means, though I know that doesn't make it any easier.

I think you are right it is that awareness. It took her three weeks to settle when she first started. It feels like this is worse because she has a better understanding of what’s going on. Even though she knows I’m going to pick her up and apparently she is fine there, it’s absolutely heartbreaking seeing her so distraught in the morning. I know I sound precious but she’s rarely this upset,

She’s doing 9-4 to start off with, I can’t really do any shorter than that at the moment but honestly not sure it would even help. On pickup she’s been fine just very tired.

Thank you for your comments I do feel better knowing it’s not just us, and it is hopefully just a phase

I only know one parent (of many!) who hadn't experienced exactly what you and others are describing. The staff have probably got it to some extent with all kids but you maybe don't see it due to set drop off times. He will get back to where he was pre lockdown, it'll just take time - I know you said she went for a year pre lockdown but she's had almost 4 months out which is a third of the time she's been there.

Thank you, that makes a lot of sense x