Unreasonable to ask both kids to clean up after themselves?

[Mumof2babies]

So my partner has a daughter from a previous relationship shes nearly 10 ..our son will be 7 in October plus we have an 11 week old baby
Dont get me wrong I love having step daughter here and I treat her exactly the same way as I treat my son the problem is that partner doesnt most of the time when it comes down to putting the toys away
We had her over the weekend and I asked for them both to put toys away before she went home I dont think that's an unreasonable ask as they both are old enough now to be putting their toys away this didnt happen though partner took her home leaving our son to tidy everything away so I just told him to leave them when partner came back he sent our son to his room for not doing as hes told which caused abit of an argument because I didnt think it was fair that he should to put 2 peoples things away by himself when I'd already asked for both of them to do it together
Partners excuse was that she doesnt live here so she shouldn't have to tidy up after herself

You’re absolutely right.

I presume she comes around a lot, and she isnt exactly a 'visitor' in the traditional sense. I would expect them both to clean up if they both made the mess. She is 10. She isnt far off secondary school age. She isnt a baby. I would speak to DP about having the same rules for both kids. It cant be a case of one is treated differently to the other. IMO that in itself will cause problems between the children.

She’s definitely old enough to tidy up after herself. Your partners excuse was ridiculous.

You are being the loving one here- teaching her habits that will help her through life. Living with or (in my case) being someone who hasn't learnt these life skills can make you miserable, mess can be really triggering. By teaching her to tackle it quickly,wherever she is you are doing her a huge favour. Can you put it to your partner that way?

Partners excuse was that she doesnt live here so she shouldn't have to tidy up after herself

You have a DH problem.

You need to set rules in stone and if one child follows them then the other should and your bloke need his arse kicking

@SqidgeBum yes shes here every weekend she has her own room ,toys etc

Why did he send your son to his room, didn't you tell him you told him not to tidy up?

you should have just helped your ds put the toys away and spoke to your dh when he got home about it.

@WeAllHaveWings I did tell him that I told him not to do it that's what the argument was about
He said but you had told them to put the toys away and he hasnt
So then I said to him that's right I told THEM to do it not HIM they both had them out they should both have put them away
Which he then said but she doesnt even live here so why should she do it

Nope they both played so both tidy.

When I take DS to play at friends homes he helps to tidy before we leave unless friends specifically say not to bother.

So if your partner took his daughter to someone else's house and she created a mess would she not have to clear it up because she was a visitor? I doubt it, so it sounds like your partner has a logic fail.