PLEASE Help what should I do about playgroup that requires my dd to be potty-trained?

[peggotty]

I've just taken my dd along to a playgroup for a look round (she is 2.8) with a view to registering her there 3 days a week. The kids are supposed to be potty trained. My dd is showing virtually ALL the signs of being ready to be potty trained but won't actually do anything on the potty i.e she tells me she needs a wee etc AFTER she's done it not before. The playgroup have said that I can bring her along with pull-ups or pants on and stay with her in the hope that she'll be encouraged to use the toilet if all the other kids are doing it. WIll this tactic be too high pressure? Or is it the push that might be required? I'm under a time limit here as well as I really want to get her settled in a playgroup before january as I'm pg and the baby is due at the end of january. HELP PLEASE!!!

The playgroup are not allowed to insist that a child is potty-trained. It's discrimination.

Well they've said that they are 'not registered' for nappies - what does that mean. I should have asked really, I know.

Just put a pull up on her and send her along. It's only for a couple of hours. Put a spare one in her bag in case she poos (she probably won't though)and let the satff know what you have done.

As coppertop says they are not allowed to exclude your dd because she is in nappies. My ds went in nappies and the satff were fine.

The not being registered bit means they have nowhere suitable to change her if needed. Just tell them to phone you if she needs changing.

If you look at the continence policy document here you can see that this is breaking the Disability Discrimination Act. They can't opt out of it by saying that they're "not registered for nappies".

It's for 3 hours. I think she would just hold poo in tbh. I really don't think they would let me just leave her. Is it really discrimination - is it not about needing a designated person to change nappies and disposal/collection facilities?

It's just a playgroup run in a church hall - do all the same rules apply. Sorry, I'm probably coming across as totally thick, all the playgroup/preschool stuff confuses me.

I'm secretary of a playgroup and if a child needs changing whilst at playgroup we ring the parents to come and change them

send her along in a pull up. Seeing other children using the potty may encourage her to use it - it certainly helped in potty training both of my children.

THey're not allowed to refuse entry to the playgroup, but they could insist that you be available to come and change a nappy if necessary.

Pixiefish that's good to know - I only live around the corner from the playgroup and could be there in minutes. I will ask them if they are willing to do that, once she's settled in.

peggotty - don't be too nice about it to them - they have to take her, don't let them wriggle out of it for spurious legal reasons!!!

They do take them with nappies i remember a couple of kids at ds's nursery being in nappies, they just won't change them, they will call you. HTH

My DS2's playgroup were like this and he wore pull-ups for ages. The other children using the toilet had absolutely no effect on him. Thankfully they only had to change him couple of times for a poo.

I am sure she will get there in the end. I wouldn't stress about it or force her to have a go just to fit in with the nursery. I am sure that they would prefer a child in pull-ups that they can leave rather than having to wipe up wee puddles every time because she is not ready to use pants.

I've just posted about this on another thread cos it makes my blood boil!!!

All OFSTED registered pre-schools have to have an eqal ops policy & that includes accepting children who are not dry. They HAVE to show they have a changing facility even if it's only a mat they can put down as needed. Pull ups are a cop-out unless it's what the mother is doing at home. Why are thet firghtenrd of a quick wipe of poo or wee FGS it's all part of childcare. If they say they aren't staffed for it they need to look at their raios!!

No child should be pressurizrd into being sry before he/she/mum is ready!!

My dd2 is at a local village playgroup in a church hall so sounds similar to yours, and they take them in nappies. In fact, I think they probably wish dd2 WAS in nappies since she has accidents all the time, but they are very patient bless them and insist they are fine with it anyway!

I can't believe some playgroups actually ring the parents to make them come and change them , I would be very unhappy at that if I was in that position since it would be a 20 min walk each way just to change a nappy. Being dry is not something they can usually help either way so I agree it amounts to discrimination.

As far as I'm concerned they cannot specify that she has to be potty trained as this is discrimination. My local pre-school says they have to be dry but if you query they back down. It is crazy as the pre-school is from 2yrs yet all our local HVs are now saying don't train til 3!

Come on ladies we must have an OFSTED inspector amongst theh MN-ers??