Baby doesn’t like cuddles - makes me sad

[newmum234]

My baby is 11 weeks old. He loves his bouncy chair and will sit in it for up to an hour, babbling and watching the world go by.

But as soon as I pick him up out of the chair for a cuddle, he will start crying - and then immediately stops and seems happy again when I put him back in the chair.

Why doesn’t he like cuddles and is there anything I can do to make him change his mind? Friends’ babies will snooze contentedly in their arms for ages, but DS just doesn’t seem to enjoy it

Don’t panic my DD was the same! Now 3 and is very cuddly and snuggly. Even as a newborn she wasn’t fussed on being held and cuddled and usually settled when I put her down. I thought she’s turn out to be a psychopath 😂 but she’s lovely! Don’t worry enjoy them in a way that makes them happy he’s obviously just an independent soul. You’ll be grateful when he’s dashing off playing at toddler groups and you have a moment peace and your friends kids are clamouring to sit in on them!

Could he be in pain or discomfort?

I’d try to make an appointment with you gp or HV just to double check there’s not any medical issues.

My lo (now 7) has a condition that causes her joints to be loose, when she was younger and being handled it would cause her pain in her joints. Obviously I’m not saying this is the case with your l, but it’s worthwhile just putting your mind at rest.

My first baby was like that. He was desperate to roll/crawl/walk/climb and was not remotely interested in being held. When he was about 3 he started to enjoy cuddles and now, aged 8, he's the most cuddly one of all my children, despite being the least cuddly one as a baby.

It will change for sure. My 1 year old has just recently entered a bit of a cuddle monster phase, but she hasn't generally been a cuddly baby. She's quite independent and much more interested in exploring the world.

my son was like that as a baby then changed at around 18 months into a little cuddle monster. unfortunately now at age 7 he seems to have reverted back into his not wanting to be cuddled ways or not even wanting any kind of affection at all I've no idea why but I do find It quite upsetting when I see my friends children of the same age with their arms around their mum's giving hugs and kisses. my dd age 11 was a very cuddly baby but then changed at around age 5 and also shows no affection whatsoever if I try to hug her she just stands there all rigid and I can tell she's not comfortable with it. it is very upsetting when I see friends and family with their children showing affection. I suppose I've just got to accept it's the way my two are.

Is he breastfed? My sons never settled on me like they did their dad as they'd just get fractious and hungry when they could smell me! They'd just root for milk. It changed as they got older.

My 20 month old is only just beginning to like brief cuddles!

My 11 month old is like this, so independent and busy shuffling, rolling or crawling around! I do wish sometimes she was clingy so we could cuddle etc which makes me sad sometimes but I suppose she didn’t need held all the time as a new baby and is happy playing herself etc - would be nice to have a snuggle though 🥰

Also, I guarantee that closer to 2 your child will constantly want to be picked up and held and it'll drive you insane

Yeah DS is 15 months and not interested in cuddles. The only quiet time I get is reading books together on my knee which he loves. He likes to be carried around and look at things together and he gives kisses but it’s my a fan of cuddles.
Once he got to about 4 months he just wouldn’t be cuddled to sleep and still hates it now. He likes to be put down so he can sort himself out! I love his personality, and I know that one day I’ll get a cuddle!

*he’s not a fan of cuddles

DS is 11 months and not a cuddle fan at all. He wants to move around and explore the world and generally views cuddles as an opportunity to get close enough to your face to bite it. Sometimes I'd love him to be cuddly but I have to remind myself that 1) he's his own person and it goes against a lot of what I believe in to force physical contact on someone when they don't want it and 2) I'm not a cuddly person at all so he has no doubt inherited it from me.

My DS was like this, he’d physically try to fight his way out of sling, he stopped napping on me within months, we never do-slept because he wanted to be left alone. Then when he got bigger and could move, he was too busy doing that. I was heartbroken as I love cuddles.

He’s 2 years old now and he’s the biggest cuddle bug going. Makes my heart melt several timed a day by coming up to me of his own accord and saying “mummy, I NEEEEED a cuddle!”. Some babies aren’t very cuddly, it’s not personal and there’s every chance it’ll change when they’re older.

Thanks for the reassurance x