Saying I have hurt her when I haven't

[slowlyfailingaway]

I need some advice on how to deal with my dds latest behaviour. She has become increasingly naughty during lockdown, understandable it's quite a stressful time. I am on maternity leave currently so we are here all day together and have followed lockdown pretty close to the letter.

A few weeks ago she started shouting liar at me and calling me a liar whenever her dad came home from work and I told him about her behaviour during the day. but this seems to have developed into today, I asked her to play music in either her bedroom or the playroom, and she didn't want to, so she told me that she was going to tell daddy that I have kicked her and punched her in the face today 😨 I obviously haven't done anything of the sort, and was horrified. I told her that if she says things like this then regardless of if it's true or not, I will get in a lot of trouble. She doesn't believe me so doesn't care. This went on for a while so I started recording on my phone and said that if she was going to be saying things like this I need to be able to prove that this hasn't happened, the next hour was spent throwing herself at me trying to break my phone and hurt me.

I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I am at a complete loss

@Daisydaisy3

I think there could be a few problems here but the main thing that jumps out at me is you discussing her beahviour to your partner in front of her when he gets home. I am unsure as to why you would do this. For one, it sets a bad tone, 2) she is going to be defensive 3) you lose power and authority in her eyes. You don't need to tell him, you deal with the situation yourself when the problem rises, then you repair with her and you move on. Your DD will be seeing her Dad as the authority figure and you as someone who has no authority. I think this is a large part of what she is doing, I think she isn't respecting your authority. Of course you can discuss her behaviour with your partner once shes asleep but you aren't doing yourself any favours doing it in front of her xx

It's more like he will come home and ask if we've had a good day, and will ask her if she has been well behaved today, she will say yes, I will say, well not quite, she isn't having pudding or a treat or whatever, and she will just go nope she's a liar I have been lovely. I get what your saying though and maybe we will stop this exchange, although not sure what I will say when he asks if we've had a good day - she also is very poorly behaved with him