SLEEP-OVERS! When do they start?

[StarryStarryNight]

My son is pestering me to invite kids over for sleep overs. I think it is too early. What do you think?

I agree with you wildpatch. None of my children are going to have sleepovers (at least, not until they are well into teenage years and capable of looking after themselves) and they are not going on one either as I don't think it is fair to accept someone's hospitality when I have no intention of reciprocating.

Fortunately only dd has ever expressed any desire to have a sleepover and she has been told my feelings on the subject and does not mention it much.

I did do sleepovers when I was a teenager but it was a rareity and, as implied above, I was of an age when I could take care of myself. Then it will be fine for my children, but not before. I simply don't want the responsibility of someone else's child and I don't think it is one of life's "must do" activities.

If you can't be bothered then that's fair enough Wildpatch. Still think it's a bit unfair to imply that others with a different viewpoint are not being sensible though. (And I have been very interested in listening to your pov btw just - genuinely -don't understand it!) To be honest, I'd be more hesitant about dd going on school trips and cubs etc rather than to the home of someone I know well. Agree to differ on this one?!

ds has been going on sleepovers since he was 4 (the first time was at grandparents with cousins), & we often have his friends to stay here. they all love it so much. i am very impressed he is so cool about it, i was a very clingy child, he totally isn't.

counting, definitly agree to disagree about htis.

i seem to have been n quite a confrontaitional mood today. lots of disagreements on mn today. more than usual.
oh well. such is life. (it's problay the inability to have a real argy in rl that has brought out the argy bargyness in me online

I've never really thought about it - ds is just three. But relieved to read ages of six upwards on here, and some into teens.

We have family friends with a ds a year older than ours, and they have been asking ds over - for both day and night - since he was two. He won't go to any friends' houses without me just yet, so a sleepover is totally off the cards. I don't think they 'get' our resistance, on ds's behalf, but am feeling normal reading this.

Their ds (four) camps in the garden with a friend though. I think he'll be leaving home at five, tbh, the rate he's going.

Do it if/when you and your kids feel ready, I'd say.

Yeah, such is life indeed ...

Am all for a bit of good on-line argy-bargy Wildpatch ... have noticed the same thing about Mmsnet recently ... perhaps its the approach of winter that's making everyone (including myself) grumpy...???

My DD started sleepovers at her best friend's before she was 3 (friend's mother is a good friend of mine). Has been there loads since (she is now 8) and to one other friend too and is always totally cool about sleeping away at grandparents etc, but I would be very reluctant to let her sleepover somewhere if I didn't already know the parents well.

FWIW I loathe sleep overs as much as she loves them. Both children utterly poisonous the next day from lack of sleep, and all that having to negotiate between the one who wants total darkness and the one who has to have all lights blazing. Sigh.

But I suppose it's character-forming - for me!