Almost 5 month in our bed...

[zoezoeok89]

As the midwife checking us out of hospital ran through the “advice” before letting us go home, I scoffed at her mention of co-sleeping, declaring I would NEVER do that as I’m too worried we’d hurt him. She laughed, because she KNEW.

Almost 5 months later, baby has probably slept more in our bed than he has his own. In the beginning he was with us all night as he refused his Snuzpod. A month or two in, we got him in to his Snuzpod and he’d wake for a feed at 3 AM, then back in until 5.30. Sometimes he’d grizzle and end up with us after this feed, but usually he’d be out cold.

Then, we got him into a routine of bedtime at 7:30/8pm, which was great..... but he wakes at midnight/1 AM and lies in his crib grizzling which eventually turns in to crying.

We have tried hand on chest and shh-ing, picking up for a cuddle and putting back, letting him fall back to sleep on our chest and popping back in to his crib, feeding him, not feeding him, changing him, not changing him - whatever we do, he refuses to go back down in his crib. We eventually bring him in with us and the second he’s down with us, arms are back up and off to sleep he goes.

This can’t go on, I don’t feel safe with it but I also obviously don’t get a good nights sleep. I do love having him there but still, we need to fix it.

I am assuming we just have to persevere at 1 AM? Keep reassuring him etc until he finally sleeps? From past experience he just gets more and more wound up until he’s screaming when we try this. My boyfriend isn’t opposed to letting him cry it out but I think he’s too young.

Any ideas?

We already use his Snuzcloud for white noise, and we have even tried having white noise on loop for him, along with our trusted songs that always calm him during the day - doesn’t work.

Why can’t it go on? I know you say you don’t feel safe but cosleeping if you follow the 7 rules is safe. Are you cosleeping safely?

If you are fine with this, don’t change it! Get a bigger bed! I’ve had two co-sleep (they are 7 and 3 now). The other night they both came to sleep with us (at different times) and it was cramped and lovely. Most other times the older prefers to sleep alone, and younger one goes back and forth! They have no attachment issues, and good sleep schedules, in fact they both sleep very well and I am pretty sure it’s down to feeling safe and cared for I. The first year of co creeping. Enjoy and don’t worry. There is nothing to “fix”!

In the first year of co-sleeping!

Also- if you are worried, place the baby at your head level: ie between your pillows (assuming the edge is safe) then you are less likely to worry about hurting them

Why do you need to change or fix it if it’s working for you? Falling asleep with a baby in your arms on your sofa isn’t safe. Falling asleep curled around a baby on a fuel safe mattress, long hair up, no pillows or covers near the baby is perfectly safe! It’s how people have slept with the babies for literally millennia. Your baby wants to be close to you, smell you, feel your heartbeat, feed easily. It’s natural and normal and as long as you follow the guidelines and you’re all getting enough sleep you stick to what works. We started bed sharing when the 4 month regression landed with a vengeance and my 12 hours a night DD started waking a lot. I felt a bit nervous for the first few nights but my god I was coping better than having to sit up to feed her than worrying about staying awake to put her back so we’ve stuck to it.

I would just keep co sleeping tbh. There's probably not much that can be done. I've seen people so determined to get kids to sleep in their own beds they will let them scream the house down for hours (poor neighbours and poor kids) and go weeks without a decent sleep. I don't have the patience for that.

You only have another month to go until your little one can sleep in their own room.

In my experience once we were in our own rooms everyone's sleep improved including baby's. I think because you aren't woken by one another's noise quite so easily and there isn't the smell of mummy milk.

I think yes you may have to persevere at that 1am point in the night (even once rooms are changed). It's easy to get into habits but a little harder to get out of them, but we all have the capacity to learn.

My little one used to have a feed at 4am until around 6 months, once we were in separate rooms he didn't seem to remember this and started sleeping through.

Also- if you are worried, place the baby at your head level: ie between your pillows (assuming the edge is safe) then you are less likely to worry about hurting them

Sorry, I have to comment, this is terrible advice. Baby should be at breast level, not head level, they shouldn't be anywhere near your pillow, if you're using one. And they should only ever sleep next to you, absolutely not between you both.

As for stopping cosleeping, I can't offer any advice 😂 I thought my first was a bad sleeper but she did at least go in her cot, albeit for short bursts. But this little guy is something else... we've been cosleeping since 6 weeks and I've just embraced it, he's a bit bigger now so we have a proper snuggle under the duvet. Apparently my DH would like to come back in our bed one day but we'll see 😂

Thanks all! I’ve made it as safe as I can, but we don’t have a bed guard (bed is high) and our mattress is memory foam which I’ve read is a serious risk for babies

I have baby at breast level and make sure duvet only goes to my hips, but I still worry and wake in a panic when I’ve managed to get into a deep sleep with him.

I make sure baby is basically in the middle of the bed so he doesn’t roll anywhere, not that he moves at all when he’s asleep, but this leaves my boyfriend hanging off the edge of the bed. We don’t have space for a bigger bed either!

I will have a rethink and see what we can do..

I moved ds into his own room at 5 mths and he would go down about 7pm but woke up non stop throughout the night for a really long time .
We had a spare double bed in his room and I would end up sleeping in there with him not much help sorry .
I wouldn't co sleep with ex dp in the bed or baby in the middle and it is against guidelines.