Hello fellow mums and dads,
I need to share as I can't sleep or eat I'm so riddled with guilt.
So last Tuesday afternoon I was packing some boxes (we are moving next week) and my nearly 3 year old little boy was "playing" (throwing his toys around asking for attention) so I decided to stop packing and play for a bit, but first I went to put some rubbish from packing in the bin in the kitchen, whilst doing this I heard him walk up the stairs...
I ALWAYS go to him when he goes up as it makes me so anxious, we haven't got a stair gate at the bottom as our stairs curve so even with a extension the stair gate could only be fitted 4 steps up, we have a living room door between the stairs and living room so we've always just managed it. He is really confident on the stairs but I never let him go up and down on his own (there's a gate at the top obviously)
So this day whilst putting rubbish in the bin I heard him shoot up the stairs and I don't know why but I didn't rush to the stairs I walked in that direction but stopped at my phone on the way which was on charge as I was expecting a work email and then I went to stairs, I was to late!! He fell and I had to just watch as I couldn't do anything. Rang an ambulance as he seemed in pain and kept falling asleep on me after. He has broken his collar bone and is now in a sling for 3 weeks 
Honestly I feel riddled with guilt and shame... why didn't I rush to him? Why did I look at my bloody phone first!? I broke him and it's all my fault.
Sorry it's long I just needed to off load this and mums been threw something similar? Xx