More interested in my phone than my 1yo - yes I know that's bad!

[YellowEllis]

Don't know what's happened to me during lockdown but I seem to be obsessed with my phone. My screen time updates are vile. I mean I spend all day with DS, but I'm worried I'm not present.

I'll make him breakfast, but while he eats I just do the washing up and empty the tumble dryer. We'll play in the lounge until nap time but after 15 mins I usually sneak off to the sofa and just scroll aimlessly on my phone. During his nap I'll get some chores done. Then I'll make him lunch, whilst he eats I do the washing up, put laundry on, say 'yum yum' and 'more?' Occasionally. Afternoon, we'll go for a walk, I try and force myself to narrate what I see but eventually end up silent apart from the occasional "look" then we get home and yep, he plays and I zone in and out of playing with him and aimlessly scrolling.

I don't talk to him enough, do I? He's only just turned 1. He doesn't talk yet, he only has one word. He doesn't walk yet, so we're pretty limited on what we can do. Can't get out for more than one short walk a day as he doesn't like being restrained in sling/buggy

I'm being a shit mum! Nothing on my phone is even that interested, but I'm so bored all the time. I want to change but really just feel at a loss.

I'll be brutally honest, babies are really boring in my opinion. I really can't stand mindless chit chat with adults never mind trying to narrate everything for a child. 🤷 That makes me sound like a terrible person, but there we go.

For goodness sake give yourself a break! One year olds are pretty uninteresting conversationalists.
I'm sure you do speak to him. Do you general chat? About breakfast, getting dressed going out? Unless you are omitting details and don't cater to his emotional and physical needs I'm sure you are doing fine

1 year olds are boring. I feel like a shit mum about it too but my god they are

At least you’re acknowledging it is a problem, that is a start. I guess you could reflect on what it is you want your baby to take from seeing you glued to your phone. That the phone is more interesting than he is? I get that phones are a draw but surely this little boy deserves your full attention, not eyes that are constantly flickering to a screen and a mind that is elsewhere. Just put it away and focus on your baby. Make the change.

Thanks everyone. I feel bad saying it but it does feel boring. It's strange because when I could see family and friends I loved sitting with them watching him play but for some reason when it's just me and him I just end up on my phone for what feels like hours

To be honest if it wasn't being on your phone you'd be beating yourself up for something else. Mum guilt is extremely common, but in my opinion shows that you do care because you have this guilt. I'm sure you're engaging plenty with him.

When my dd was tiny I used to put music on the radio so we could sing and dance together

You can't possibly give your child your full attention all day every day, or even for all that long without a break. There's no mental stimulation with a 1 year old. If it wasn't your phone, it would be something else. I have tried and tried to concentrate on my kids. But I'm an adult, I don't like games, kids TV, narrating my day, holding the child while he stares at a mirror/ clock/ other boring crap that I've seen a million times. I have concluded it's just not possible. If you want to help him talk, talk in proper sentences as if he understood "do you want the red cup with your breakfast today?" And offer a red cup. That way it's meaningful and not quite as dull as most things that interest toddlers.