Feeling rather down today. All I ever seem to do is clean and tidy up other people’s mess.
My ex and I have split up which I’m not down about he did move to stay at his mums initially but I have allowed him to stay with me until lockdown finishes so he can find a new place and save up to get somewhere nice. Recently he has been taking the mick so I have given him a move out date which is in 5 weeks.
He offers the bare minimum in the house, he goes out to work which is fine but he leaves a trail of destruction. Every room he leaves is a fucking bomb site. Towels over the side of the bath after he’s had a shower, water all over the floor, a sink with spit all over it. It’s my own fault for letting him stay but I thought that seen as though it was now established it was MY house and he is staying and not living here then he would have a bit more respect but I’m clearly deluded.
He makes out he carries everyone but in reality I do. I just feeL like I’m so done with every today even parenting and I feel awful that I feel like that because it’s not my sons fault and he’s only a baby.
I sit typing this now and the house is honestly such a mess. I’m sat on the sofa next to his plate and a screwed up blanket he had from last night. Blankets and toys all over the floor, the kitchen has pots piled high from his tea last night and he’s ‘kindly’ left me a scrap of last nights spag Bol for my dinner which actually means he couldn’t be arsed to clean the pan after taking the portion for his dinner today. There is his shit all over both toilets in my house, bed rooms are a total mess clothes all over the floor. I don’t even know where to start.
I hate living like this and feeing like this it makes me fee so worthless and a failure to my son because he is sat in his chair day by day as i clean the house from top to bottom every day For it just to return to a shit show the following evening and I feel guilty for that because it’s all for nothing.
It’s my maternity leave and we should be doing fun things and spending time together but he’s just plonked in his chair whilst I clean up other peoples shit.
It’s my own fault for letting him back. I’ve spoken to him about this 1000000000 time’s but nothing ever changes. Just wish he would hurry up and fuck off.